Brain Fog Crazy!

Meant to bring my camera with me today.  I got the keys for my apartment yesterday, so mom, grams, Amanda, Nick and I went up for them to see it.  Love taking before shots before anything is in it, and then after once I have it all decorated.  I think which means I don’t know for sure still, but I think I’m moving sometime this coming week.  It’s hard not knowing when exactly bc I don’t know how much I should pack of the stuff I have left out!

Mom came back this afternoon with me, and helped me pack up and garbage more stuff.  I made her take the Scooby garbage can I had so I didn’t have to deal with it lol.  Nick will love it at least :-p

My dad and step mom, Lois, came over this morning.  He brought me roses for Valentines Day like he does every year nice since I’ve NEVER had a guy buy me flowers!  Even the douche whom I spent last Valentines Day didn’t…. douche! LOL.  Since they just got back on their yearly trip to Arizona (I know, wouldn’t that be nice huh?) he always brings back something little for us, and this year I got a calendar on a bunch of cactus’ …. I actually do like them weirdly enough so it’s fitting lol.

They came down to move the mattress from my Grams old bed to my mom’s bc I’m using my futon again (yay! lol) and he kept freaking out I was pushing it too much.  I go to get them a screwdriver and he ran after me so I wouldn’t have to lol.  Not quite THAT bad thankfully!  But it’s really sweet how he doesn’t question how terribly I’m doing.  I wasn’t feeling good at all this morning, and I was crouched inside my bedroom door talking to them as they were taking the frame apart, and my eyes just rolled back and I fell on my butt lol.  Didn’t fully faint though!  I think I’ve freaked them both out about it even more though, bc then they set up my futon frame for me, and made my bed (lol too cute) and then made me stay sitting until they were out of eye shot and then I got up and started moving stuff around again lol.

Sad thing was, when he handed me the roses, I thought, “Oh that’s sweet, a moving present.”  Not even realizing until I saw my sister’s facebook status, that it was for Valentines… bc I didn’t realize it was on Monday!  I’d make a horrible wife! lol.

After I barely moved my head and pulled a muscle in my neck, I decided to take a 20kg bag of cat litter and lift it with my back instead of my crap knees… bc my knees are crap… and then I pulled a muscle in my back.  I was in a lot of pain and was happy to take med.s that happily didn’t want to work!  So every time I’d lift something I’d keel over in pain.  So after a day of not actually resting, but trying to trick myself into thinking I was, I was in bed and got restlessness in my legs so I did some weird bending thing with my leg underneath me (don’t ask this helps) and instead of getting rid of it… I pulled a muscle in my calf! lol.  I got up bc my legs were going nuts and I fell over bc of the pulled muscle and just sat there and the floor shaking my head laughing trying to get my ass up off the floor.

Alright, will write again next week.  I can’t WAIT to go to the dentist!!!  No I’m lying I’m completely freaked out and am in complete denial that this appointment is coming up… until I actually have to go!

Ash,

PS New page on fighting the flu

It’s Like A Dairy Queen Blizzard Out There!

I was told it was going to be bad this weekend.  I went and got some groceries yesterday so I didn’t have to attempt to go out in the craziness… and boy is it ever!  I’d say one of the biggest hits we’ve had yet!  But I still have no complaints since I’m not a driver, and I love looking out the window and seeing the beautiful snow everywhere   My parking lot is completely snowed in and it doesn’t look like there’s been a snow plow out for our place at all today.  When the snow plow goes by on the road, it blocks the driveway… kind of funny though.  Last year when my mom would come to pick me up, I would have to walk out across the road to meet her lol.

Speaking of weather…  the terrible scary weather over in Australia right now is so sad!  So many people lost, dead, injured, without homes.  I must say speaking of scary happenings over the world, I saw a little tv documentary on how in Haiti, they are using the rubble from the destroyed homes, to build new ones.  I think it’s bitter sweet in the sense they are building the new life from the old.  Still, couldn’t imagine what they are all going through even now

My social service worker, Susan, has a cousin that runs a private school up in Switzerland, and they are known for doing skiing classes, and it is very much a part of their curriculum and daily life style there.  Right now however, the entire place is having rain pouring on them, and there is no snow to ski on.  That’s scary!  The first time in 40 years that has happened!

With this time of year comes massive flu outbreaks too, but weirdly enough I haven’t heard anything about it yet really.  Yesterday though, I was reading the news and apparently there are crazier amounts of flu cases this year compared to last year!  Thank God I got a flu shot!

My place is being over taken by boxes… and boxes and boxes… and lots of other boxes.  Susan’s student who’s name I actually know how to spell now, Aarifa, came over and packed stuff from all of the cupboards that are up high, and now pretty much EVERYthing is packed that I’m not already using until it gets closer to the time to move.  All I have left is a few things in the bedroom I want to get rid of, and the couch, which the Salvation Army is coming to pick up at the beginning of February.

My poor dad is sick with Bronchitis, and then he and my step mom are going to their yearly winter trip to Arizona, Las Vegas, etc.  When he gets back, he is going to bring his truck up here and bring my big bed and eliptical trainer to my sister since I can’t use either.  So happy I’ll have my futon back soon

I’d been packing the odd box here and there, but every time I try to my Crohn’s kicks in and I have to rest whether I want to fight it or not.  My postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, is also giving me horrible nausea!  Usually I just get it in the evenings, but lately it’s been all day!  Very sickening to deal with.  I got an anti nausea bracelet, but I don’t find it helps a lot.  Just takes the edge off.

Susan brought me over some arthritis cream to try on my hands, wrists and knees.  It’s all natural so it’s not crazy stinky!  It’s medicinal smelling while your putting it on, and then it goes away!  And it doesn’t get all sticky to your clothes either.  I really like it, it’s nice.  Doesn’t get rid of the pain entirely, but definitely takes the edge off.

Alright, I’m going to head out bc I’m falling asleep as I type and I want to get cleaning some more of the apartment!

Take Care!

Ash,

Insomnia Monday… No Wait Wednesday lol

Okay I’m totally out of it.. and as the title shows on NO sleep.  I apologize in advance to my horrible writing mistakes in this post bc even though there is a spell checker, I’m notorious for putting wrong words spelt right in the wrong spot… now you’re feeling as confused as I am aren’t you? Good… I’m not alone then.

So I had 3 great days.  The 3 best days I’ve had in about 5 years.  I felt good, had some boxes and some Christmas crazy going on in the apartment and I just went nuts packing stuff.  My place feels hollow now and very echoy… sadly my neighbors sex life has seemed to become more echoy as well *shudders*

Susan my Social Service Worker, has a new student Aristha or something and every time I say it, I’m saying a totally different name lol.  She’s older, which I like.  And she and Susan came by today for me to meet her.  Aristha or whatever she is, is coming by tomorrow for her first session with me.  Zeus made it very clear she digusts him and wouldn’t let her go near him without flailing and running off to the tub to scream his usual grumpy rant.  Mind you bc I didn’t sleep… that means he didn’t either.

I got rid of a whole whack load of more stuff on the Free Cycle site.  Google it bitches, bc you can get and give away free stuff in your city.  Such a great idea, bc it saves so many items from going to the dump, and helps many people who don’t have a lot of money.  I’ve gotten some stupid items that turned out to be more of a pain, and I’ve gotten great things too like my bread maker which I love!  Definitely recommend it.  The only thing I’m waiting to give away now is my couch.

I’ve been reading a LOT lately.  I finished up the new CSI digi novel which was amazing!  Also read Bitch in the Kitch and the first of the series… cannot remember its name and I lent it to my step mom to borrow.  It’s about all the interesting facts to do with food with a lot of sarcasm and swearing thrown in… perfection.  Changed my whole ideal on eating and cooking too!  Bitch in the Kitch is actually one of the cookbooks so you’d want to read the first book obviously before buying it.  So funny too.  I’ve also finished one of the free novels I got with my Kobo.. The Preacher’s something or other.  Good but wouldn’t bother to recommend it to anyone.  And am now reading everything Edgar Allen Poe has ever written lol.  I love his short stories especially!  Oh!  And read the play, The Importance of Being Ernest… omg I LOVE it!  I wish it was longer, and that I could see it performed live!

Anyway, besides that I’ve been on the phone like a fat kid clings to the refrigerator and I hate it lol.  I hate the telephone!  So many little things disability needs done.  Proving that I’m moving bc of health conditions, proving I am approved and actually moving to the new apartment… weirdos.  And getting quotes sent over to them for movers.  What do they care so long as I give them a receipt?  Which they’ll need too lol.

Also been on the phone starting my month of doctors appointment bookings!  Had a horrible time getting a hold of anyone of Christmas and the week after.  My family doctor for my knee and fibromyalgia, and my sleep study.. Susan is taking me as well to see what all my tests have said since my numb brain won’t remember everything.  Then I have to run to the dentist on Monday with the student social service worker (the same program I’m in) and sign a consent for my needle poking dentist to get a hold of my Cardiologist.  Since he NEVER phones me back! Grrrrr.    As well the Crohn’s Disease dudes to make my check up appointment… yes it’s been almost a month on these new pills.  They are now helping greatly with the heart burn and acid burn in the stomach, BUT I still have nerve damage pain that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what they give me… except Amytripline which I can’t take thanx to Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.

So a lot of my facebook, etc. friends have noticed me being absent a lot.  A big part of it was just all the holiday business and being with family a lot.  And now my computer which has always been a piece of crap is getting even worse!  To write an email on facebook, I literally have to wait a good 20 minutes after I’ve finished typing it, for the computer to actually input it onto the screen!  It’s insane!  Surprisingly, knock on wood, this program so far isn’t being effected, but hotmail, facebook and yahoo mail seems to be very hard to manouver around without a lot of swearing and giving up to go sit on the couch and try it again later.

I hope you’re all well and not still pooped out from the holidays!  We all seem to slowly but surely coming back to our normal crappy selves lol.  Xo!

Ash,

Packing, cleaning Achoo!

Hey!  I’m loving this cold weather!   It’s GREAT for sleeping.  My only big thing with falling asleep lately is I get Restless Leg Syndrome right as I’m about to fall asleep!  I twirl my legs in the weirdest way to try to stall it off, and if it gets bad enough it goes into my arm too!  Almost always on my left side.  Anyone have any non pill related tips I could try?  It can literally keep me up all night sometimes, even when I’m exhausted, so any tips would be good.

Well today I have a little bit of energy, so I am cleaning out my computer area.  There’s so many old phone books, papers, medical crap, computer parts I’m not using since I’m using the laptop with the computer monitor.  It’s been driving me crazy!  And I knew it was going to be the most time spent area going through things when packing, so I figured why not get it done with now!  Driving my allergies nuts, but I’ll feel so much better once it’s done!

I’m also going through all the stuff I don’t use and taking pictures to post of the Free Cycle site, so I can get rid of the crap!  My sis is going to take a bunch of it off me, thank God, so that’s even less I have to worry about.  I’m just basically either filing it or throwing it out in recycling!  I have only been here a little over 2 years, and it’s crazy the amount of sheer crap you accumulate.  I’m the complete opposite of a pack rat too, but since I want to be in a smaller place, a lot of this stuff just won’t fit!

It’s only Monday, and I’ve had a few days just to relax aka crash and sleep.  It’s great, but boring bc I’m not used to being bogged down with doctors appointments lol.  I like it though!  Allowing me to get some other stuff done that I usually can’t deal with after a long day.  But next week will be interesting.  Monday, dentist to get mouth guard, Wednesday to the allergist here in Belleville, Friday to Kingston for the Crohn’s specialist.  I didn’t realize that I was jamming them all into one week since most of them were booked months ago.

I got a letter from the Neurologist.  Instead of going in to see him in March, I’ll be going in February instead.  Quite a while sill, but happy that it’s slowly getting closer and closer!  As weird and annoying as getting poked with potential allergens will be, I’m really excited about going to the Allergist.  I just think the whole process is fascinating, and it will be interesting to see what they find!  I need to make an appointment with my family doctor soon, but I keep putting it off. Blaaaah lol.

Alright, break time is over!  Back to work!

Ash,

Halloween Spinning!

It amazes me even 2 years of having POTS horribly, 8 yrs entirely, how much it wears us out!  Mentally and physically especially!

Nanu and Nick as pirates

It’s now been 5 days of being in bad pain and feeling constant horrible nausea.  I felt like I ran a marathon on Friday, not just went in for scopes.  I barely ever use my heating pads, etc. for pain, bc I’m just stupidly stubborn, but these past 5 days, I’ve been using them non stop all throughout the day just to deal with the constant pain.  It’s making me more annoyed than anything else! lol.  Still not using pain med.s though.

Sunday was Halloween!  I love giving out candy!  Amanda was too sick to drive Nick out to my dad’s, etc.  which was fine with me bc I was too sick to go too! lol.  My  mom was adorable and dressed up like a pirate too and walked around with all the kids and their parents, in the town house complex getting candy.  All the kids looked great!  I sat at the front door with my mom’s dog that was dressed up as a wizard lol and me in my winter coat, and handed out candy.  It was a great POTSy job, bc I just made them come up the step so I wouldn’t have to stand to give them their stuff.

Nick & his friends ready to trick or treat!

Nick and I had so much fun though.  I’d lay on the floor on my back with my knees up and cross my ankles.  Then he would hold my hands and sit on my feet and I lift my legs up so he was a good 3 feet in the air above me lol.  I was exhausted but we were both laughing so hard he puked! LOL guess that’s what being a good aunt is about hehe.  He was a huge cuddle bug and wanted to constantly be on my lap

Yesterday… didn’t exist for me lol.  I felt horrible.  My mom was going to take me grocery shopping and I couldn’t raise my head without the whole room spinning and me feeling instantly sick to my stomach and in pain.  She came by and grabbed my money and went grocery shopping for me   I was so thankful she did that, bc I really needed food, but just couldn’t do it.

Late last night I realized that the Diabetes Association was coming by this morning to pick up the used clothes I was giving out, so I had to drag my ass in the bedroom and go through my clothes while stumbling all over.  I gave quite a bit of nice reg. shirts, dress shirts, pants, sweaters, and a few warm coats, so I’m glad I was able to do it.  I just had to mark the garbage bag with a D, and place it outside my apartment door for them to pick up.  I thought it was perfect timing bc I wanted to pack away the clothes I’m keeping but not wearing now bc of the weather, and get rid of the clothes I didn’t want anymore anyway so it was one less thing to pack and bring with me whenever I move.  My mom brought over a few boxes for me to have to pack away things like kitchen stuff I rarely use, etc.  so I won’t be so rushed moving later, but I haven’t been well enough to do anything with them yet.  I still need to put away my Halloween decorations… and I can’t right now lol.  Sucks.

Amanda and I didn’t end up going to the movies.  I was in too much pain to wear anything other then pj bottoms, and she wasn’t feeling great either.  I went to their house instead and watched a couple movies.  We got all this junk food to eat, and we couldn’t barely eat it lol.  Stupid Crohn’s Disease! lol.

Marlene, my personal support worker’s boss is coming next week to do some hour long review.  She wanted to come this week, bc they’ll come right to your place to help you out when you’re not feeling well, but I can’t even deal with that.  I told her I’d see her next week.  As much of a help having Marlene come is, I’m going to be so worn out just getting up for when she is here for Wed. and Fri.  On Thurs.  I have my Gyno appointment in the afternoon, and my social service worker, Susan will be stopping by in the morning to check on me to see how I’m doing since my tests on Friday.  Seems like nothing, I know, but I just feel like total garbage the thoughts of being awake for more than an hour at a time is sickening.

I have a bunch of crap I need to do today, like Zeus‘ litter box and me have a shower, etc. and I don’t know how I’m going to do either of them at this point.  It’s only 10:30am though, so hopefully I’ll feel well enough later to do at least some of the stuff I need to get done.

Anyway, will write more after my appointment on Thursday.  I hope you’re all doing well, and keeping busy!

 

Ash,