This is Going to Be Interesting!

I’m on my laptop yay!  I haven’t had a laptop in almost ten years, so please bear with the typos until I get handle on the keyboard being so small again!

So it’s been BEAUTIFULLY hot out.  The plants have been loving it!  Not so much me, but over night the temperature went down to zero again!  We’re all supposed to put out our plants on May 24 weekend, but I’m a little worried about doing that.  Especially with my veggies.  We’ll have to wait and see how the weather is!  Another gardening problem… I love starting plants from seed… and I intended to finally use my little green house to put my start up plants in, until they’re ready for a big pot, or to put in the ground, freeing up more window sill space.  Unfortunately, it is STILL getting knocked over by the wind!  There’s no bottom to it for me to put something heavy either, so it makes me a little leery about using it at all.

Today is Monday, and I should be going swimming, but it’s not going to happen this week, or next.  I took today to do my Spring cleaning room, which was the living room, and I’m so tired out from it I think I’ll need a nap before I start dinner!  Next Sunday will be the scope prep day and Monday the scope, so I highly doubt I’ll be able to go swimming lol.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  Mom picked me up around noon, and we went to a flower shop and she made a cute bouquet of flowers for my Grams.  I got her  book by J. R. Martinez that she wanted.  He is a young war veteran who’s vehicle blew up from a land mine they hit and burnt 95% of his body.  He went on to be a spokesperson for wounded veterans, acted on a soap, and won Dancing With the Stars.  We went up to get Nick for a bit so he could see his dad, and Amanda gave her their gifts from them.  I didn’t stay for dinner bc mom was taking Grandma out to eat

On Friday, Carrie, Grams and I, went with Amanda and Nick to see him do his swimming lessons.  OMG  it’s crazy watching him in the deep end, but he looks so happy!  He’s adorable to watch.

This week, I have the dentist on Wednesday to get that filling re put in, and other than possibly seeing my counselor, and having Lilian my PSW come, I don’t think there is anything else.  I will write next week after my scope to let you all know the results.

Take Care.

Ash,

PS  I haven’t had to use pain medicine in 4 days!  Wahoo!

Beauty

On Sunday, I went to my oldest niece Jessica’s baby shower… I’m going to another one for her this Sunday too.  It was cute to see her open all her gifts and see her again before the baby is born!  I had gotten her some wet naps, a gyro bowl, the blanket I knitted for her, some onesies, teething toys, sippy cups, bibs, etc.  and split on a play pen with my fam. I also won in a draw with one of the game a lucky bamboo plant!

I got my bedroom done for the Spring cleaning, and threw out my fern that I killed… whoops!  And also tossed my forced tulips, which never grew inside or out!  I have now added more starting seeds to the mix, so I will take pictures when they get bigger.  I also moved my mini green house outside on the back deck, but it kept tipping over bc of the wind I guess, so I moved it today.  I’m HOPING it will be okay now, so I don’t dump my flowers in there after May 24 weekend!

Today while talking to my bud Nicole, and then after when my social service worker came, I did all the weeding.  Normally I put it in a bucket and dump it along the fence line out back, but I forgot it, so there’s crap all over the walk way, yard and driveway lol.  Oh well!

My landlord has been over the last two days working on fixing the light in my front room.  He had his electrician friend over today and they finally got it all fixed up.

My Crohn’s disease is doing terrible… to put it lightly!  I am fighting through every day just to get things done.  Today was a good day, hence why I got all that done, but usually I’ve been lucky to get in the shower!

Yesterday I was able to finally get my Calcium and Vit D 3 med.s for my Crohn’s.  It’s something the G I’s want crohn’s patients to be on now bc it helps fight against bowel cancer.  Which is just not what I want to spend my money on, but I finally did it dammit lol.

Tomorrow I am doing my laundry.  I put my first payment on the washer and dryer next week, and then they will deliver it for me next month once the down payment is paid in full then.  So HOPEFULLY this will be the last time I have to go OUT to do my laundry!  Yay!

My neighbor upstairs is moving   and she is moving out West, so she was selling a bunch of her stuff so she didn’t have to take it with her.  My mom is getting her brand new computer, and she’ll let my Grams use hers since she can’t see on her laptop too well… Guess who’s getting the laptop!  Wahoo!

Alright enough is enough.  Just waiting for the delivery guy to come with my med.s

Ash,

Easter Weekend

I had such a great, spoiled Easter!  I hope you all did too!  Saturday, Nick and got picked up by dad and got to see my beautiful nieces, my uncle Howard and Patty, and my step bros.  It was so beautiful out back on their deck, I actually got a sun burn on my face! lol.  The chickadees were liking me a lot too and kept fluttering about my head.  I was able to bring home my table runner and purse dad and Lois got us in the States made from a woman in Africa who comes to sell her stuff there.

My oldest nephew Travis didn’t come bc he was at another family dinner, but I did get to feel the baby kick in Jess’ belly   Totally melted my heart!  Can’t wait to meet the little guy

Yesterday I went up to mom’s early and wrote out an evaluation for my SSW student Alissa, and then Carrie, Emily, Amanda and Nick came up for dinner.  It was fun getting to see them open their gifts, and I got a gnome on a motorcycle from my Grams, and a really funky snail watering can from my mom   And of course yummy food!!!!

I’m packing up for Amanda and Nick’s for the night.  I told Nick, he better make me a yummy dinner! lol, and Amanda and Carrie and I are going to stay up to watch Shameless and dance around the living room lol.  It’ll be fun

Wed. I have my PSW as usual, and the housing guy coming to check the alarms, and my appointment later in the week with the new GI.  I’m going to call my family doctor, and have her fax the Gallstone info. over to him so he has it by the time I see him.  Hopefully I won’t have more tests for that and we can just get on with it!

I took some pictures of Zeus bc I was hand washing my one wool sweater I have, and I hang it in the bathroom with a towel under the rack to catch any dripping water, and I found him sleeping on the towel in there lol.

Other than that, I have my one room to do for the Spring cleaning chore, and laundry to catch up on.  Also going out on Thursday with my mom to go garden shopping!  Hopefully they’ll have the red mulch by then!

Take Care!

Ash,

A Little Late Not Paying Attention

The last post was written quite a while ago, but I must have no thought to hit publish, so when I went to write an entry, I realized it was missing lol.

I finished my second rug hooking project.  The first was a dog, this one a cat.  There were other kits at Michaels I liked a lot more, but was not willing to pay the money for them.  It’s also impossible to find rug hook canvas around here!  You have to get the whole kit if you want to do one.  Zeus was constantly laying on this one even trying to get on it while I was working on it!

This week went well.  My poor Personal Support Worker Lilian, got a cut in her hand, then went swimming at a hotel pool, and it got badly infected and ballooned twice the size.  So she couldn’t make it out this week.  Next week I’ll have Pat who usually takes over the off shift Lilian misses.  I really like her.  She’ll be done literally as I’m running out the door for my Crohn’s Disease tests in Kingston.  My mom was bugging me last night about being cranky like her when I’m hungry.  So this should be interesting with no food or water! Blah!

I have started the baby blanket.  I put on over 100 stitches last night, then realized I didn’t have the right amount for the pattern, so I had to rip it all out… then I did it again, this time with too many stitches for the pattern… third time’s a charm, and I finally got the damn thing going now! Lol.  I think it’ll look cute, if I can ever finish it!

August sleeping on the back of the chair with her little bum in the air!

Was out cleaning up garbage out of the yard this evening (my garbage got torn apart weeks ago during that big snow storm, and I’ve been going out and collecting more and more of it as the snow melts)  and I noticed my Snow in the Summer is still going strong, the Astra is starting to pop its leaves, and some of the bulbs I planted in the Fall are starting to sprout up.  I also saw a ton of areas where the damn squirrels were digging them up too!  *shakes fist*  That was with a ton of garlic too.

I’m really happy with how ALL of my outdoor garden areas look.  Except for adding some more red wood chips, there is not a thing I would change!  Nicole, my bud, is giving me some clippings to put under the stairs to fill that little space up (yay )  So now I want to work on my indoor garden.  I have four great windows for planting, also Zeus loving too, so I technically only have two that he doesn’t go in and dump the plants off to make room for his dieting body lol.  So looking at Nicole’s pic.s, I love her window garden, with the different shelves in the window so there’s tons of space to put more flowers to grow!  Which would be great over the winter time as well.  Right now, I’m stuck doing my veggies first, then beginning in sections, the flowers for my pallet project.  So Nicole, expect lots of questions on how you did that! hehe.

Zeus is still exercising!

I am reading the book that was shown on Dr. Oz, Salt Sugar Fat.  It basically is a history book for the food market, and how food/drink companies use different methods to make us the consumers, become addicted to their product of food, and how unhealthy these foods truly are.  It’s really interesting, but very text book like, so it’s taking me longer than usual to read it.

I’m also started on a new show.  Lost… obviously it’s done and over with, so not new, except to me.  My aunt has always loved it, and then my sister and Nick too fell in love with the show, so I finally decided to give it a shot.  So far I’m liking it a lot!

I had an awesome visit with Amy, my Social Service Worker’s prior student, who came to help me work on my Portfolio class.  I know feel like I can confidentially for forward, and have some ideas on what to add a personal touch with, and what exactly they’re looking for course wise.  When I get paid next, I have some supplies to get for it, and then I can get on with putting it all together   All my major papers for the class are finished.  Now I have to add the rest to it, which is mostly personal details.

Started to watch the mini series The Bible on the History Channel.  I am not a religious person, and to be honest, would fall asleep… literally every time I tried to read the bible.  It was too confusing to me, and made me lose interest too quickly.  So what I like about this show, it is going in sequence and showing in literal terms what the stories in the bible display.  It’s interesting and making a lot of sense out of stories I had heard bits and pieces of before.

Tomorrow I am heading over to check out the washer dryer sets finally, since I was too sick from over doing the exercising when I was supposed to go last time, and then go to mom’s for dinner, and possibly a swim.

Take Care!

Ash,

Adrenalin Works If You Work It!

 

Had to go to the dentist today bc of the two fillings that fell out.  I just got the damn things filled at the beginning of this year!  Hopefully they stay put for a while!  My appointment went well.  Any other POTSy’s find that the freezing makes them jumpy?  My heart rate goes nuts when I get it… reminds me of taking acid in high school lol.  My SSW Susan stopped by too to try to scare me while in the dentist chair! LOL Thankfully I was walking out as she was coming in!

I got home, and thought I’d better rest and try to get my heart rate under control, but my heart was so wired for sound I couldn’t sleep, so I did a bunch of packing and cooking instead!  I have most of my stuff packed, but it is getting down to the wire, and I need to use what energy I get to pack when I can!

My mouth, now over 6 hours later… is still frozen!!!  Not badly and it’s pretty much gone now, but holy hell!  And it’s weird, bc I’ve always had less problems with the left side of my mouth, but if they do ANY kind of work on that side, I swell right up and look like a stroke victim… not cute!  I’m glad  give my family a good laugh with it though! lol.

I went to my dad’s this past weekend and got to see my uncle Howard, Patty, and their one dog Killer (a tea cup Chiwawa) LOL  she’s so ridiculously tiny I was scared I’d break her, but she is too adorable and cute and loved when she finally decided I was deemed cuddle worthy I also got to see my cousin Joey and Lisa, and some other family friends.  I got my dad the book, The King’s Speech, since he loved the movie so much.  It goes into more depth of both the men’s lives, and has really cool old photos and letters that they sent one another.

I won’t be writing again, until after the move on Tuesday… that is “supposedly” when Cogeco is coming to set up my phone and internet too but we all know how well that turned out last time lol.  Then I’ll be seeing my dietitian, my PSW’s boss, and my OT worker as well.  It’s going to be pretty crazy with appointments and trying to get unpacked as well as trying to quit smoking!  Yes that’s right… my quit date is for the day I move.  I hope to hell I don’t kill anyone!

Alright, was just doing a quick check in to let everyone know I’m alive, just busy, and I’ll hopefully be writing more.. and more interesting things as well soon lol.

Ash,

Prednisone Nights

All this week has been very emotional for me.  Feeling like a constant burden on my family.  They’ve done nothing to make me feel this way, but I can’t help feeling useless some days.  Where am I supposed to go with a life like this?  I feel like I strive to live and wonder why.  What’s my purpose?

My Gramps asked my grandma the same thing this week.  He lives in a nursing home and doesn’t even know where he is most of the time.  He stays in bed, needs to be bathed, etc.  What kind of life is that?  Obviously I selfishly want my grandpa to always be around, but I know in a small way how he’s feeling.  It feels like there’s no point to any of it.  To live a life, suffering, relying on others.  Period. 

I go to my family doctor later this morning, and then my dad and Lois are coming up to visit me because I have been so down.  Thursday, I am going to look at a place with the housing co-ordinator and then Lilian my PSW is coming.  I still have a lot of things to catch up on, like getting the tooth I broke fixed coming home from Belleville General Hospital, but right now it’s just not in me emotionally or physically.

Susan came by today, my social service worker, and talked to me a lot about how I have been feeling.  She thinks I need to start getting nurses in here daily, and get IV’s of potassium water, to stay hydrated since I’m having a hard time keeping anything into me.  She also wants me to talk to my GP tomorrow about going to a pain management doctor. 

I spend all day long sick and tired.  I used to love when night time would come, bc it would mean I’d have a few hours of not having to be concious to the fact I feel so terrible, but these damn pills are keeping me up all night regretting any food I ate during the day. 

Besides that, I’m doing okay.  Just shakey on my feet, and just waiting as each day goes by to start feeling better bit by bit.  I got back to my crohn’s disease doctors, and the cardiologist on the tenth.  Hopefully I will feel better for the drive by then.

Hope you’re all doing well!

Ash,

Since I’ve Been Moved

I had such a hard time last week with getting rid of my psw and my counselor was out of commission bc she had the flu so badly.  She checked in to make sure I was okay, and my family was wonderful for being there for me.  They definitely had my back too.

My mom stayed the other night and we moved my living room around to give it more room and hung a bunch of pictures.  The walls in my room are really weird, so I can’t hang photos in there!  Drives me nuts lol.  I got a new floor rug, a coat stand, curtains, and a really comfy counter chair to use in the kitchen.  It’s really comfy too, and I’ve been cooking and able to do the dishes a lot more.  I will post pictures soon

My new PSW Lilian, starts here this Thursday. I haven’t met her yet though.  I’ll let yas know how it turns out.  I also have my family doctor’s appointment on Friday afternoon.  I need her to fill out some forms for my taxes and disability, and ask her if I can get something for restless leg syndrome bc it’s drive me nuts EVERY night!

I’m now reading the book, “Emma.”  If you’re into olden day girly books I definitely recommend this one

Besides that, there hasn’t been a whole lot going on!  My Grams brought by her old computer for me to use, so I thought I’d post one more entry on here before I switch over this afternoon!  Excited to use a computer that isn’t so bloody slow!

The weather has been beautiful here minus the night we had a thunder storm!  Today it is snowing and raining… go figure.. Canadian temps!

Hope you all are going well, and I’ll write again after my appointment this week.

Ash,

Horribly Gut Renching

 

this picture cracks me up every time I see it! lol

I’ve been really stressed for a LONG time, and have done nothing about it.  I am a strong believer that if you can’t say something to someone’s face, don’t say it at all!  In wrong doings I think before you get someone in trouble you should talk to the person first and see if things can be fixed bc it could easily be a misunderstanding.  I’ve gone against those feelings today and I know I had every right too for my own well being, but I hate that I hurt someone in the process.

I’ve been having mini issues with my PSW since about the beginning, but since I’m horrible for sticking up for myself, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it.  If someone is outrightly rude to me, I have no problem saying something, but I really don’t think my PSW was doing it to be mean or nasty in any way.

When I was at my most sick, I couldn’t do things like dishes, cooking, vacuuming, dusting, etc.  When I would have her do it, she’d be in such a rush, she’d leave food all over the dishes and glasses always full of soap, or just a quick run of the vacuum in one room, or dusting around things on my shelves instead of moving them and giving it a good dusting.  Now don’t get me wrong… I know we have all done this to save time, but when that’s the way it’s done every time, and me being too sick to fix it myself, or passing out trying to, it seemed really annoying and pointless having someone come, as my place was piling up with dirt bc it was never done properly.  She also had a constant habit of leaving the stove on when she left, and putting the litter box in backwards, so if I was sick and didn’t notice, my cat would go over 12 hours at a time without anywhere to go to the washroom… he has digestive issues and almost died in the past from them, so it’s not something I take lightly.  Or leaving food out so that when I’d be too sick to be in the kitchen to notice it was out, the food would have gone bad by the time I noticed.  The one thing that really bothered me was bumming cigarettes.  I have no problem giving someone them, and am happy to if I feel they’d be someone who would do the same, even if I never asked.  She isn’t a smoker except when she drinks… or came to my place which was twice a week.  When someone only smoked socially they don’t usually buy them, bc they don’t want get in the habit and get addicted again.  I understand that, but in order for them to smoke then, they must constantly bum them off someone… that person being me.  And it was happening just about every time she’d come here.  I am on disability.. I can barely afford my own horrible habit, let alone hers too!   I’ve been feeling very used.

So what happened to bring me to say something to her boss, was the lady had called last week about doing a yearly satisfaction survey type of thing.  I thought, if I’m going to stand up for my self, now is the time to do it.  I was really stressed and very scared to, and ended up talking to my social service worker about it.  Up until then, I hadn’t even mentioned it to her, and that kind of made me realize something was up, bc I tell her everything good and bad.  I talked again to my sis about it as well, bc she has the same mind frame as me when it comes to having a hard time saying something bad about someone who is deep down not an outright bad person.

So I put it off yesterday, and knew since I normally see my psw on Wednesdays, that I had to do it today.  I talked to her boss and forgot to mention the litter box and food going bad, and leaving the stove on, but the moment I mentioned the smoking, she was not impressed at all.  I just hope to hell she doesn’t lose her job for it.  I will be getting a new psw soon, and won’t see the one I had ever again.  I know it will come to a huge shock to her probably and I know she will cry bc she is emotional like that.  She is very caring and sweet, but I can’t let everything go that was hurting me just bc she’s a nice person!

On the illness front, I haven’t been sleeping the last couple nights, my stomachs in knots from stress, and my pots is fighting me with every step or crawl I take.  The nausea is ridiculous and driving me bonkers.  It got so bad, I had to go lay on my bed bc I thought I possibly had the flu and was going to yack at any moment!  Normally the nausea sucks, but I can tell the difference between it, and having actually caught anything.  The second I get nausea, then the room spins and spins and makes the nausea even worse.

On a good note, my dad and Lois did end up coming and they really liked the place.  I let my step mom borrow a cool book about health tips, etc. for gaining energy.  She’s all into that stuff too lol.

Anyway, the stress was getting to be a bit much, so I had to get it out here before I ralphed from it lol.  Sorry for all the negativity!

Take Care!

Ash,

Ahhhh Relaxation!

I had a GREAT birthday.  I gotta be honest, I didn’t feel too great though.  I got my sleeping messed up the day before, and was really later for my two major med.s and it messed my POTS up a bit.  I guess that’s a good sign that maybe my Beta Blocker is working though!

I went to my mom’s after her and Nick decorated the place.  He was going to do a Mad Hatter theme for me, but the poor little guy was so sick.  I guess he was up during the night with a fever of 102!  He was all excited to surprise me when I got there, but he ended up falling asleep on the couch.  You could tell he felt rough.

My sister and Nick surprised me by buying me way too much!  I’ve been looking for years, for a pumpkin scented candle, in one of those glass containers with a lid, and she found me one   It smells so yummy!  She also gave me the HellBlazer comics I picked out when we were shopping a while ago, a note book bc I’m always doing to do lists, and the little shit got me a gift card for Chapters so I could put some more books on my EReader!  I picked out Prophecy, the second digi novel by the guy who does CSI, and Mini Shopaholic.  I can’t wait to read them!!!

They had balloons on the wall, and streamers coming down from the light fixture above the table, and we had a yummy boiled dinner and my Grams homemade wackie cake which I LOVE!!!!  I also got a nice card in the mail from my friend Megan, and a picture of her and her daughter, who is growing up WAY too fast.  Speaking of pictures, I got from Amanda, Nick’s school photos too   So I have them all over my apartment now and one in my wallet to show off with my other nephew and nieces photos

I didn’t go to see the apartment yesterday bc I have a cold still, and now feels like it’s getting worse.  I could have gone, I just didn’t want to risk getting Susan my Social Service Worker sick.

This morning Marlene my Personal Support Worker is coming.  She’ll be here in about a half hour, and other than that I have nothing on the agenda until I got to the dentist in about a week and a half.  I’m not going to go to the Pauls family Christmas dinner tomorrow bc I’m feeling pretty rough, and I do not want to risk getting my uncle sick when he’s been so badly run down.  My dad will give me a nice guilt trip, but by the look of Nick yesterday, I’d say Amanda won’t be driving out there either, so he’ll just have to deal with it.

Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well, and I will write again soon, if not after my dentist appointment.  Take Care!

Ash,

 

Happy Unbirthday to You to You to YOU!

Marlene my Personal Support Worker came by… well I suppose yesterday now since it’s almost 5am lol.  She bought me this beautiful gray cardigan for my birthday.  It’s really comfy fabric, but has really cool stitching in the back.  It’s nice I never expected to get anything from her.  I am pretty sure she thought it was my birthday yesterday, bc she seemed all sad that I was just going to stay at home lol.

I actually ended up falling asleep after she left, and didn’t wake up until late into the night!  I woke up feeling full blown sick, but now it’s dulled back down to that cold I had with just a worse cough.  I am supposed to go to my Pauls family dinner this Saturday, and I don’t think I’ll be able to go sick bc my uncle Larry (at his and my aunt Reta’s house this year) has been on dialysis and been very ill.  I don’t want to risk making him worse!  But I’ll talk to my aunt later today, and ask her about it.

Susan, my Social Service Worker called today, and her friend found a cute small one bedroom house in the nice end of Belleville, in a house.  Apparently it’s very vacationy like and there’s a private backyard area!  She and I, are going to drive by to see the house this morning, and then next week, we are going to go see the apartment inside.  They’re willing to hold the place for February for me, which would be awesome, but I’d have to give my notice asap since I have to give this rental company notice 2 months beforehand.

Tuesday was busy but fun.  Amanda and Nick picked me up and we went to Walmart where I got coughed on by some &*%&%&*% guy that works there. lol yes, all people who cough on me are *&^*&%&*%’s .  Then we went back and dropped Amanda’s groceries off, then went to Shannonville, and the dropped mine off.  THEN, we went to the dollar store where I got a bunch of cool helpful things for around the apartment, that will be great for when my Fibromyalgia kicks in, like a jar opener, etc.

From there, we went and picked up my mom at work, and then went to Chapters, where I got my Kobo E Reader!  It comes with 100 books in it already, all classics, and then I got two free newer books.  One I actually own, but the other looks good.  The only shitty part about it, is that in order to get the two free ones, you still need to put your credit card info. in even though it won’t be charged.  Problem is, I don’t own a credit card!  GGggrrrr! lol.

Nick is too funny (he is only 4).  He was talking to my grandma who doesn’t have the best of hearing about both his and my birthdays, being this month.  He comes upstairs to where I am and asks me when my birthday is, and I told him, and he said that his birthday must be on the 3rd then since it’s after mine.  I explained his was after mine, but not until the 19th which would be two weeks and 3 days after mine.  He looks at me all disgruntled and says, “Ya, well that’s crap!!”  and stomps off to yell at my grandma for making him think it was closer lol.

Later today, for my actual birthday, since a lot of people thought it was on the first lol, I am going up to my mom’s where Nick picked out the theme for my birthday dinner… should be interesting.  My aunt Kelly got Halloween, and my sis got a princess theme lol.  But we are going to be having a boiled dinner my fav.  And instead of getting some fancy cakes that makes everyone feel like death after eating, my grams is making me her homemade chocolate Wacky Cake.  I love it!  It’s my favorite cake yum yum yum lol.  And doesn’t bother my stomach as much as store bought ones do!

Anyway, I am going to head out and take a bath, and attempt to sleep a few hours before Susan comes!  Hope you all are feeling good, and enjoying the cold weather!  I hear snow plows… lots of snow out, but not snowing I don’t think.  Hopefully it will be!  *hugs*

Ash,