wedding 052Still no word from the hospital about getting the tests done.  Hopefully I hear from them soon!  Susan came by this morning, which was so nice to catch up with her!

I’ve been SO exhausted lately!  I am getting stuff done, but I am constantly having to take naps.  It’s very strange.  When my birthday rolls around, I am sending in the chip from my CPAP machine to get it checked and make sure it’s on the right level, etc.

coach1 001The wedding was SO nice!  Loved getting to see the old apartment mom and I lived in, when my parents first split.  Loved the simple, but beautiful things they did for the wedding, and yummy food.  Also got to see lots of people from Camden East (where I grew up) like Annabelle who lived across the street from us.  It was just the perfect day :)

Nicole and Adam came over for a short visit today.  I got to stand… yes stand and go back and forth training with Nicole with Lily.  It was fun, even though my hand gestures were totally backwards LOL.  She did so good!

wedding 070I was hanging out with my one neighbor who recently got a tarantula (gags) and a bearded dragon (in love)  I couldn’t see the gross one since it was buried (thank god lol) but got to pick up the bearded dragon.  I am in love with them!  I have been researching them more, and thinking later on once the girls are gone, I might consider getting one!  I fell in love with this one, the second I held it!  So sweet!  And I love inquisitive pets!

wedding 072Dad already made the stairs for me for Zeus!  They look amazing!  He did a great job on them.  Dennis, my landlord gave me some spare carpeting he had at home, and one of his exacto knives to use.  Also showed me the best way to lay the carpeting to staple it down.  Mom is bringing me her staple gun tomorrow for me to get it all done.  I’m just so happy with it :)  And Zeus has been using it too, which makes this all worth it.  He climbs up it… and then jumps from the top step off it lol.

Hoping to get some paint to start redoing some of these pieces of furniture.  I cannot wait to get going with them!  I am hoping to make a new page on here showing the before, the process and the after with each project.  It’ll be fun :)

Hope you are all doing well!



aug8 004Been  doing a LOT better lately!  My blood pooling in my feet is terrible, but I’m fighting it really well!  Which of course has put me in a better mood too.

Aunt Kelly is down from TO and I’m SO happy!  Tomorrow we are going to a wedding in the family.  I am wearing a new top and skirt I got at Old Navy.  I hope it looks okay!

kobo vox 001My dad and step mom; Lois, was over today for a visit :)  I`miss my dad so much!  I talk to him like 2-3 times a week on the phone, but it`s not the same!  He found a cool cupboard on the side of the road earlier this week while we were chatting, and brought it up today.  It`s beautiful!!!  I need to get paint bad!  I have so many cool projects I want to get started on :)

kobo vox 002We’ve had problems in the past with the roof above my front entrance room (which is below my upstairs neighbor’s patio deck area)  leaking whenever it rained or snow melted.  Well it finally hit the big time and drenched the carpet the landlord had laid down.  The people who rented here before me, would lock their dogs in that room, and it was smelly when I first moved here, even after they repainted and scrubbed it, but hasn’t smelt in the last couple of years.  Since this rain, it’s reeked worse than ever before, so my landlord came over and ripped the carpeting out, took the cabinet out he had put up for me, bc water had been pouring behind there, and has been working on it every few hours for the last couple of days.  It’s starting to look all cleaned up now though.

Cabinet from dad
Cabinet from dad

My college roomie Jess, is coming down next weekend for a visit!  I cannot wait to see her!  We moved in together ten yrs ago this month… omg that makes it seem so long ago, when it feels like only yesterday.  It will be so good to just chat and catch up.  I’ve missed her!

I got all the animals brushed, and their nails trimmed.  Speaking of pets… I found these cool, cheap, As Seen On Tv doggy stairs, to help them get onto the bed, into the car, etc.  and I wanted to get them, for Zeus at bed time.  Since switching from a futon to a bed with a box spring and mattress, he’s had a little more difficult of a time getting into bed.  So these stairs were on for really cheap!  Problem with the great price, is they sell out within a couple hours of Petsmart being open!  So I asked dad, and he is going to make him a small set of sturdy stairs to get into bed :)  I am so glad he is doing this for me.  Zeus is my love, and a HUGE part of my life, and this is the least I can do for my old boy!

Still haven’t heard about going in for my tests yet, but hopefully soon!

Take Care.


PS  I FINALLY got my damn portable air conditioner working again!


homemade cleaners
homemade cleaners

I am having a rough time lately.  It’s setting my depression off.  Not all the time, just when my POTS gets really active, or I’m doing something really hard, like laundry, etc.  I seriously want to drop and cry my eyes out.

I had my Neurologist appointment.  He truly thinks my POTS is in remission, and is now worried something is wrong with my heart.  It’s been over worked for more than 10 yrs now, and bc I am not fainting, but feeling like I am just going to collapse doing stuff, he thinks it’s bc my body is running too fast.

working on my friend's fox scarf.  almost done!
working on my friend’s fox scarf. almost done!

So he is going to set me up for a stress test/ poor man’s tilt test.  If everything with my heart is good, which I am sure it is, then I go in for my second Tilt Table Test.  (See page on here to see what that is).  I am happy that he is doing something at least, but I do believe it’s POTS bc standing to change the loads of laundry, caused my feet to go purplish blue.  All the classic symptoms too when standing… out of breath like I’ve ran a marathon, shaking, sweating, nausea, dizziness.  I do dread the idea of the tilt test bc it’s basically putting a POTSy is the worst situation to see what they do.  Worth it, but still frustrating to have to do.  What else is there though?

Aug1 001
a side table I am redoing, and making the bottom into a bed for Zeus

Going to my friend Lana’s place to watch the rest of The Walking Dead season, and got to go out with my friends Nicole, Adam and their pup I adore, Lily.  It seriously killed me, and we basically did nothing.  Thank God for friends like them, who get that I can’t go out for very long, or really do much without needing a rest.  I feel like I’m pushing myself too hard just to not even keep up with life, and when friends expect me to be around and social, even just to sit around, literally, it wipes me right out.

I fell asleep last night around 7, shortly after I got home from the dr.s.  Woke up around 4:30am, back asleep by 6am until around 10 or so, then back asleep until almost 1pm.  I’m just so damn tired :(

new kitty treats for Zeus.  you know they're good when he likes them!
new kitty treats for Zeus. you know they’re good when he likes them!

Reading a book about Russell Williams.  Really good so far.  Watching Ghost Adventures, trying to stay awake a bit longer.  I need to stop watching this show bc they are constantly in my dreams now lol.

Will make a separate page for the furniture I am working on redoing.

Take Care.


Family Time!

july2 007I suck for not being on here.  I actually want to be writing more often, but my depression kicks in and I lose all want for writing lol.

We went to my cousin’s 10th birthday party.  We got our pictures taken under fake palm trees.  She lives in Florida, but wanted a birthday with her Canadian family, so they are doing a photo album of all of us, so she knows who we are.  Nick had a great time with the kids, and it was nice to see my cousins and aunts and uncles :)

july2 002My mom, Nick and I, went to Grams for, mom’s birthday.  Grams made her a boiled dinner, and I made her a spice cake with cream cheese icing.  She already knew her gift so that part wasn’t too exciting!

july2 022I’ve been getting Christmas and birthday presents… on a budget.  I have come up with some great ideas so far for everyone!  I’m so excited already! Lol.

I’ve also decided to redo my night stand.  I found it yrs ago on the side of the road.  Just a basic side table, with a drawer, but it’s boring and dated looking, so I’m going to sand it down and paint it to go with my bed.  Not sure what color yet.  Thinking of doing the same with my dresser, but I don’t know if I’ll bother.

I’ve got some really cheap pieces I’ve found online to get used too that I want to redo and sell.  It’ll be a fun past time and I can make a little money while I’m at it!

july2 001I finally bought myself a brand new nesting doll set.  It’s an around the world set.  Basically the biggest piece is a globe of the earth… and you open it up, and there are 8 different little people from different cultures around the world.  Not your typical nesting doll set, but that’s why I like it!  Will have to start getting floating shelves to put them all out on display hehe.

My sis traded her old crappy laptop with a broken screen to me, for a leather jacket I had trying to sell.  I wanted it to use for watching tv and movies on and still be able to go online on this laptop.  The cord is so bloody long, I can stretch it across the room, and set it in one of the little slots for entertainment stuff like DVD players, etc.  and keep it all neat and tidy… even though right now it’s all over the floor lol.

july2 017Still trying to figure out what’s going on with my air conditioner.  I know … or I think I know it’s bc the water line is probably dirty and needs a good cleaning, but I can’t get at it, to do it, so Lilliane’s going to help me next week, try and figure it out.  I really don’t want to have to be wasting money to get a new one, when it’s probably something simple, but my unit is discontinued, so it’s so hard to find a manual and figure out how to take the inside apart.

I think also, I am done trying to read Watership Down.  So many people love it, and I find it boring so far, and in order for it to be exciting, cute little bunnies will be hurt, and I won’t want to read about that either lol.  Think I’ll test out one of the millions of books I have on my Kobo to check out.

july2 018Also… I have had a couple readings done on me, and wanted to share on here, what the readers have said about me.  Psychics I guess?  I get a 1/2 hour reading next week, while I will hopefully remember most of to share, but this is the two I got done by two separate women.

Ash, Okay I’m not getting family in for you hun. I am getting healers from spirit, and they are healing you all the time. They feel that you may need more from a doctor as they can’t do it all.  They are saying it will get better in time ty

the second

Ash, The dreamer, the take it as it comes kind of person. Let by gone’s be by gone’s and go from there giving ppl another chance, or the benefit of the doubt. Trust them one more time. Ppl have not been very good to you have they?. You are a lonely person even when there are ppl around. You carry much sadness with you from things that have happen to you through life but your guides are stepping forward to let you know that you are not alone. They are with you and will get you through all of it. So, stay positive hun!

Talk soon!


PS  Zeus got a new catnip toy from the vets today, and my Lilly’s finally bloomed from Nicole.  They got ate by squirrels last year, and this year they look gorgeous!  I also had a dinner and a movie date with Nick this week.  Reese was so adorable cuddling up to him!

Keeping Up the Paces

july13 002I keep telling myself that it’s just the weather.  I feel like I’m having a bad time health wise.  Yes, this weather for me is absolutely awful.  I have a great air conditioner I got last Summer, and I don’t know how I’d even be moving if not for having it, but I feel like my health is taking a step back.

july13 003I’m exhausted… all …the…time.  All I want to do is sleep.  The CPAP machine helps with this, or at least it did… and it doesn’t help that Zeus has been waking me up every time I try to sleep.  I normally would just ignore it, but he’s back into his knocking stuff off tables if I don’t pay attention to him, and he keeps going for things like my medicine, etc. that can and has burst open when he swats it.  I get super pissed too, and can’t sleep.  I get up… and he goes back to sleep!  WTF???  He’ll even have food in his bowl!

july13 004I notice my weakness is worse.  It kills me to do the girl’s big cage, like it used to kill me to do the fish tank.  I will never get rid of my babies, but it’s so damn hard to do, and I want to do well by them.  I have to choose between doing my dishes… or having a shower… cleaning their cages… and being able to cook myself dinner.  People make so many assumptions about people on disability.  If they only truly realized what we go through in a day.  How I personally would LOVE to feel healthy and be able to work and come home and make myself dinner, clean, etc.  It’s my dream… which feels like a crap shoot these days.

july13 005My depression has been surprisingly good considering.  Not bad, not great by any means either.  I guess I sort of feel content… which sometimes is stretching it.

Mom and I went to Giant Tiger today.  I had to have a 2 hour nap after.  Then I was too sick to make myself a proper meal.

On a good note.  This weekend, we are going out to my aunt and uncle’s for my cousin’s daughter, Dakota’s 10th birthday.  They live in the States, but she wanted her party in Canada, so we got invited out.  It will be so nice to see them all :)  What do you get a 10 yr old you do not know at all?  iTunes card lol.  Apparently she loves online games like Nick does, so I figure that will help get her some more.  I was looking for a pair of shorts for myself, but I could only find two I liked, and they had nothing in the line of sizes.  Must be bc of the big sale or something.  I ended up getting a $6 tank top!

july13 006Mom’s birthday is this Thursday.  I was going to cook dinner and make a cake for her, but my Gram’s is doing the dinner I guess, so I asked her to let me make the cake.  I got to get a hold of Holly to see if she can take me out to get the stuff for it.  I’ve had her gift all wrapped since I bought Gram’s gift, so that’s all done and ready.

I also got Nick’s birthday present in the mail.  All the paper crap Amazon uses in their boxes is so wasteful, but Zeus was having a riot.  I came in bc I heard him screaming, and he was laying on his side in among all the paper playing away lol.

july13 007The beginning of August, I go to the Neuro for my check up.  I LOVE him.  He has such a great way with his patients.  I know there isn’t a whole lot known to do for a person with POTS, but how can they just leave us to suffer like this?  I’m going to exhaust myself going there, for a few days after even, and all he is going to say, is to keep doing what I’m doing.  So frustrating.  I wish I could go to the big POTS clinic in the States.  At least they are doing studies and constantly trying to better the patient’s lives, instead of just leaving them the way they are after the heart rate jumps in normal range.

Okay going to go rest.


July Busies

july 007I am feeling so much more accomplished this month.  Still no where near where other people are, but I am getting lots done for me!

Adam and Nicole brought me this wikid apartment sized freezer.  I got my spare room light switched.. which is more difficult than people realize when being potsy, bc all the blood drains to your feet making you crazy dizzy… and I’m doing this, while standing on a stool.  So I got it done, and got the room moved around, and was able to easily push the freezer into the room to set it up.  So now I just have to get cooking!

july 003I got my air conditioner set up too, and in perfect timing!  It’s been so damn hot out!  I love having it!

I was also able to order Nick’s birthday present… yes I’m starting early on the gifts again lol.  The joys of being on a budget!  And I’m SO excited to get it in the mail!  He’s going to LOVE it!  Speaking of gifts, Grams loved her gift.  Nick, Liam, mom and I went to her place for cake and pictures.  Zeus had over taken her gift (a table top ironing board) and had been sleeping on it up until when I had to take it to her lol.  Mom and I made sure to get pictures of it for her to see.

july 004I saw my counselor Susan yesterday too.  She’s trying to get a little stay kitten caught outside her condo area, to get helped, but it’s feral so it’s been a task.  So nice to finally see her!  Wish I could more often…

Nicole and Adam and I went costume/dress shopping.  Nicole’s art show “Fantasy in the Forest” is coming up, and she wanted to dress up for it, so they came up here to find a cool outfit for her.  It was fun, and probably the only time I’ll see her dress shopping, unless she chooses to get married, so I had to go!  hehe.

july 017My dearest Lily (Nicole and Adam’s pup) came up the day they brought the freezer.  She was especially kissy that day, and when we got her on the couch right before they left to get photos, Lily decided to give me a smooch.  It made me laugh, which got her hyper, and she jumped in for another kiss, which I turned my head in time to avoid, and she somehow got caught in my earrings… and riiiiip!

I was freaking out about Lily swallowing one of my earrings that went flying (I wear a bunch in my bottom holes) and Nicole was worried about me, but I didn’t want her to worry when it didn’t even hurt that badly.  Once they left I checked on it, and realized it had torn all the way out… I was shocked bc it wasn`t really painful!  So mom came down and took me to the hospital and I got stitches for the first time ever!  I got 6, and got all bandaged up around my head so I looked like an 80`s wrestler lol.  It was pretty funny, but I knew Nicole felt terrible, which YOU DON`T NEED TO BE SILLY!  Since I know she`s reading this lol.  I go in today to get them taken out at my family doctors.

july 006I was able to get another 2 sets of Matryoshka dolls.  One set is a circular set.

My goal this weekend, is to get the girl`s cleaned up (their cage), make my home made cleaners,get Zeus`nails done (who is staring at me right now bc I`m typing and not petting him lol)  and hopefully get a good vacuuming in too.

Mom`s birthday is on the 16th.  I got her one of those foot filer things that looks like and electric razor… an as seen on tv product she wanted, and a new heating pad.  I can post it, bc she picked it out, so she already knows I got it lol.

Amanda`s is next month, and thanks to Nicole, I was able to find the one thing that might stop me from getting it done.  So I`m pumped that I`ll most likely be able to do it now!

Okay going to scoot.


PS  No doctor appointments after today, until I got to the Neuro at the beginning of August.  Wooo!

Happy Canada Day!

june15 009I haven’t written in so long, because I just haven’t had the heart to post anything.  I get feeling down, and feel like I’ve shared my feelings enough and just can’t do it for the next while.  So I am back and posting again!  Listening to my guinea pigs tell me it’s time for fresh veggies… so I had better get on this, so I can get onto that!

I am back to knitting again!  Starting a multi colored blanket for my bedroom, and finishing off the wolf scarf I started waaay too long ago for my friend Nicole.  Excited about getting into it!

juneyard 005I am finally done reading Gone Girl.  Thank God!  It took forever, and the one time I will say this is now… just go watch the damn movie lol.  I am now reading Watership Down.  Interesting so far…

My peanut butter squares I made.  On suggestion, I think they need choc. chips added.
My peanut butter squares I made. On suggestion, I think they need choc. chips added.

I got to have a girl’s day with my friend Lana and we watched half of the last season of the Walking Dead.  REALLY good so far!  So now we gotta meet up soon again and watch the rest.  Got to meet the other pup of the house, and we even picked up a wonderful German Shepard on the way who was wandering lost.  Got her home fairly soon though!

10641302_10154224738729815_3490434327642119689_nI got my scope done and omg the prep made me so sick this time!  The test turned out fine.  Better than he figured, so I don’t have to go back to the GI until December I think.  Humira is working good in me as well :)  Always good to know!

Mom and Gram’s birthdays are coming up this month too.  I can order mom’s online, but I’m hoping I get to get out with Holly this Friday and pick up grandma’s and some gift bags.

Majority, but not all of my medication for a week.  The joys of being chronically ill.
Majority, but not all of my medication for a week. The joys of being chronically ill.

I was also able to meet up with dad before Father’s Day for lunch and then again on Father’s Day to come over for a coffee.

I’m getting screamed at, so I’m going to jet.  Nothing exciting happening here tomorrow.  Going to chill at home for a change.