Today

The things I’ve learned, accomplished this year is great. Even more so with what I have to deal with. I became a Reiki master, a certificate in animal and crystal Reiki, as well as attuned many students. I became certified in meditation, alternative healing methods, chakra cleansing, past life regression, and many more. I’ve taught classes myself, in chakras, auras, Reiki, Norse mythology, and started doing monthly astrological tarot readings on YouTube.

I started my own business being a reader and Reiki practitioner. As well as worked at psychic shows, done house cleansings, and crossed numerous spirits over. I’ve even been lucky to assist in many missing person cases.
I’ve started painting again and sculpting. I even started my own company selling makeup online and doing video tutorials on applying makeup. This was after becoming a broadcaster on social media where I do live psychic, medium, tarot and oracle readings.

I’ve fallen in love for the first time and truly gave my heart for the first time to my best friend. I truly know this person to be a soulmate in my life, and now one of the few I consider my family. My love and respect for this person is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before, and am thankful I have had the opportunity to fully and wholey love someone who I would do anything for. I also wish for all people who truly appreciate who they are with, to have the opportunity to have a love like this.

I’ve also realised this past year, that I have given my friendship and love to people who used me selfishly. Who think I am the bad guy. That’s okay if they truly can’t see where things went wrong. I wear my emotions on my sleeve for the people I truly let in my life, and many times to my own detriment. When I have realized I am now only in someone’s life for their benefit, at their beck and call, and not respecting my needs, then I walk. I’m okay w being considered being a bitch, if it means me having only positive people who want as much for me as I do for them, without jealousy or resentment. It is a breath of fresh air. I do not hex people I don’t like, despite what they may think lol, and I honestly want the best for them, but their opinion of me, holds no meaning good or bad. When I walk away, I am done.

I’ve had so many changes and many more to come. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what’s going to happen long term from now, and that’s hard for me bc I thought I’d found what I was supposed to, only to realize it wasn’t reciprocated. So I move on towards my true intended path, just doing me the best way I know how. And soon enough I’ll find my home along the way.

Welcome to the crazy!

Ash,

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Hmmm

I’ve been deep in thought the last few weeks. Maybe longer. I have all these amazing things happening for me, and yet I’m sad. I am and I am not. I’m truly appreciating my life and the amazing people in it. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am, but I get sad still every once in a while, for what seems like no apparent reason.

I’ve got clients lined up for my readings and my reiki, I have a new job as an office administrator from home, which will allow me to get bills paid off and save some money for a change without starving. That’s huge to me. My health is crap, but that’s the way it is this time of year especially. I have so much knowledge and the ability to do that at my disposal and yet here I am w tears in my eyes and I don’t know why.

Everyone has something they would change if they could, but really I’m content. I wish I could get rid of this fear blocking me from my growth spiritually bc it’s beginning to affect other areas of my life, and I don’t want that. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of. Maybe it’s purely bc it’s unknown to a big degree still, despite what I’ve experienced.

I said to a friend maybe my depression is ingrained in me like a habit, but I don’t think it is. I’m a truly silly, happy, giggly, easy going person. More so than most. I let a lot slide off my shoulders when most would lose it. So why the sadness? I also said it feels like I have all these doors opened in front of me and I don’t know which one to go through. Maybe I want to go through them all… and I plan to. Maybe I’m scared of what’s on the other side of it. Who knows.

I’ve lost a lot of people in my life this past year, whom I thought would be in my life forever. Do I regret it? I don’t believe in that. Things happen for a reason, and I don’t just mean fated. I also think that too many people in this world receive, but don’t give back, and that happens to me a lot. They take my laid back approach and end up using me up to the point where one day I just leave and don’t come back. Does it mean I love them any less? No. I’m just too sick to deal with it any more and feel I’ve been given no other choice.

I’m a social person, who needs to recharge. People constantly rely on me for things bc they know I will do it, bc anyone else would charge money, or they don’t have the resources to. I am in that position, so I want to be able to do for others, what they otherwise couldn’t do. I spend all, but maybe 2 of my waking hours doing things for other people bc I love them and I know they appreciate it. I’m tired though. I have been told time and again I need to stop this, but as it is, I have friends I haven’t talked to one on one in ages bc when I do get those 2 hours, I am just too exhausted to give any more. So I’m making it my goal, my intent, and what I will do, to spend more time on me only. The ones who matter will understand, and the ones who don’t will go, and I’m okay w that.

Ash,

Motivated

Please help this family in dire need. If you cannot donate, please share!

https://www.gofundme.com/deperatelyinneed

Feeling way more energized than I have been as of late. Still having a hard time with the dizziness but can do a lot more sitting down at least! Can’t wait for my test results to come back, amd see what they say!

received_101581443961398151979188569.jpegBeen busy doing readings, and going through old stuff and getting rid of it. Feels so good to get rid of unnecessary crap! So much more to go, but looks like I will have my Reiki room up in no time! So excited!

Got my business cards ordered finally for the show in October, and slowly getting this place cleaned up… errr kinda.

Want my place changed up a bit. Not so much stuff, but have more usable items in it as the decor pieces. Actually have a function, other than collecting dust! Selling off a bunch of old books, and got rid of all but my two fav sets of nesting dolls. Can’t part w my newer comics though lol. Ain’t gonna happen!

img_20180719_232634_183416808933.jpgAlso got to go on a fun ghost hunting trip with some local friends.  Can’t wait to go again!

Wanted to check in before the next full moon, since it’s been a while. Hopefully by my next post, I can show off the Reiki room!

Take care!

Ash,