I’m Going to Lose It!!!

tired panda

I’m really frustrated right now.  I’ve been having non stop problems with my student loan, which still isn’t completely set up yet bc I’m waiting to get my damn checks, and NOW I find out the my credit counseling company hasn’t paid one of the loans I consolidated with them in 4 months!  I called the lady bc now the biller is threatening legal action saying they’ve been trying to get a hold of me… which is funny bc there hasn’t been one message on my machine from them!  So my mom who’s been out of work finds out they’ve been calling her non stop there bc she’s my co-signer!

I hate money and all the stress that comes with it!  I’m trying to get my life back in order, I’m too damn sick to sit at my computer for more than 15 mins. how the hell am I supposed to work????  I need to be working sooo badly and I can’t.  It’s literally impossible for me to right now.  Just really stressed and mad bc this loan shouldn’t even be my problem!  It’s my credit counselor’s problem!  I’ve been paying the monthly payments to them, so if they aren’t paying off my bills with it I’m going to flip out!

On a good note… even though I’m still pissed!  I’m going to coffee with my counselor next week and a girl around my age that is going through a lot of the stuff I was before, so I’m coming as kind of a way to prove that yes… when bill companies aren’t being fuck heads! life actually is beautiful and worth sticking around for!  Fuckers! ahhhh lol

I’m reading, “The Murder of King Tut” and it’s kick ass.  True facts, mysterious, yadda yadda.  It is dated in the late 1800’s- early 1900’s, present time, and in the time of King Tut’s life.  So it’s pretty interesting bc you get to see how the author is researching everything for the book and also what he’s going through, as well as the excavation of when his tomb was uncovered, and King Tut’s reign.

I wasn’t going to write today, since tomorrow is my Cardiologist appointment, but I am so frustrated and mad, that I needed somewhere to vent, and talking to my mom about it just got me more mad for some reason lol which is the LAST thing I need!

Anyway, I’ll do an update within the next few days to let you all know how it went with the doctors.  I’m also excited bc I got a dietitian appointment for next month, then to my GP for a physical (not so fun lol) and I’m going to be hounding her with a bunch of stuff I need her to do for me.  (referrals, letters, etc.)

Hope you’re all doing well! *hugs*

Ash,

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