Starting Swimming Soon!!!

Hey 🙂  Just realized I told everyone in my last post to have good weed… not have a good week… though I suppose if you smoke weed that could make your week good too lol.

Haven’t gotten the damn chair yet!  It goes on sale tomorrow lol, so hopefully there’s still some left so I can get one.

"Wanna pay attention to me NOW?"

Yesterday my Grams drove me to the food site and ordered another $20 box… almost passed out on the stairs again bc I didn’t realize they didn’t take debit, so I had to go up them again with cash lol.  Sort of stumbled out… I think God is out to get me bc it is a church lol.

I adore my cat… I really do… but I read the paper (aka the shopping and animal pages) and make a nice pile on the floor next to me as I go, to put it in the recycling… Zeus thought he should help… for the third time!

Today I went to mom’s for the afternoon.  It was beautiful out!  Sat and hung out with my sis and had lunch, and then her and I went to pick Nick up from school bc I haven’t been there since before he was even started there, so she thought it would be a fun surprise.  He came out and didn’t realize I was there at first and was rubbing his eyes bc he was tired and I bent down to his level (he’s so short! lol even for 4) and he jumped into my arms and just cuddled lol.  The he took his book bag off and hugged and gave me a kiss!  And people wonder why I’m a sucker for my nieces and nephews lol.  So he opens his bag and gives me a picture he drew of Zeus, and then gave me his little certificate for graduating junior kindergarten lol but I told him his Mommy would like that more.

So we went back to their house and I stayed for dinner (making rude noises and showing each other our food at the table until his mom and mine gave us both shit lol)

Spoon Bracelet

I got my Potsy Spoon bracelet yesterday!!! It is a bracelet made that was from the Spoon Theory… and if you don’t know what that is, check out the link in the side bar! It’s a great way to sort of explain chronic illness and how it effects us all to people who are healthy.  I love the story and the bracelet has tiny little spoons on it 🙂  To go to Erica’s site to buy the Spoon Theory bracelet or other pretty ones, even awareness bracelets… THE LINK IS IN THE SIDE BAR TOO lol.  She’s really sweet and loves comments on what people think of the stuff.  Came in a cute little green tie bag.

So I know I said I was going to do a YouTube video (side bar people lol) around 2 weeks ago.. but all I did was upload a video of Zeus playing with the face cloth bc I didn’t want what I looked like filmed LOL. I might do it tonight… probably will forget LOL.

Tomorrow  is grocery day! *gags* I’m going to be so sick lol, but happy to have food!  And to try to get that chair grrr hehe and get laundry change bc I have 3 more loads to do… maybe me and the apartment building hallway carpet will meet face to face again lol.  Makes me feel sooo crappy.  Marlene comes too and then Thursday is Canada Day!  It was one of my favorite holidays growing up bc the small village I grew up in, used to hold garage sales at every house in the morning, then games and playing with friends all afternoon, and then we’d all go to my grandparent’s place and sit in the grass and watch the fireworks across the street.  When we first moved to Belleville we took Nick to the day stuff here…. outside of a helicopter it blew!  And I was so sick I had to miss the fireworks!  Last year I had Bronchitis and my Gramps at the nursing home wanted to go, so I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get him sick, so THIS YEAR I GET TO GO lol.  To the fireworks.  Me and Nick and most likely Amanda, will do face painting etc. and go out to watch them.  Going to try to remember my camera.

Then Friday depending on when Marlene comes, Nick and I are going on a swimming date at the YMCA.  I heard swimming is amazing for my type of pots …. mind you I talked to a fellow potsy chick Hillary who’s been swimming and it has made her feel terrible… so here’s hoping it doesn’t make me too sick.  I have a family pass that I got when I first moved here and figured I’d use it up and see if I like it first before buying a new bathing suit.

Also tomorrow I gotta stop by the doctor’s to get some forms for blood work, etc. to take to the clinic.  Woo hoo! *gags* lol

Now I am reading the book, Slaughter House Five.  It’s about a man telling the story of his time as a prisoner to Germany during WWII and his time as an older man afterward.  It’s weirdly quirky, not bloody or disturbing, and even has an alien abduction 😉 hehe.  It was hard to get into at first, but now that the story line has gotten into full swing, I am really enjoying it!

Til Next Time! XOXOXO!

Ash,

Asthma Blows!

Hey everyone 🙂 I hope you’re all doing well, even though I know a lot of you are having a hard time.

I started all my new med.s and am feeling a lot more mobile than I was.  My asthma is giving me a kick though, and I hate having to take my inhaler bc 1. I don’t want the shaky side effects which I have on my own so I go crazy when I use it too lol and 2. I really don’t like taking anything and making my body feels like it NEEDS it.  I’ve only had it since Tuesday and I’ve already had to take my inhaler twice.  I started getting a horrible swollen throat so I got a AeroChamber which has helped just having my inhalers effect my better, but my throat is just getting worse.  I feel like I’m coming down with Bronchitis again, but I don’t know how, bc I hadn’t been in public when it started and no one I know is sick with anything.

I found a really cool deal on a nice wooden chair with pleather seating for only $50 or so, and tomorrow, it goes on sale for only $20!  So if there are any left, I’m going to pick up one.  I can finally get rid of  this couch and love seat, and just move my futon out into the living room (I have a bed too  so it’s just taking up more room than needed in the bedroom)  The less stuff I have to move when I find an apartment, the better! 🙂

I also heard from a fellow potsy, Shannon about these ginger candies that help with nausea, that I’m going to look for.

I just finished reading Days of Grace by Catherine Hall.  It was actually pretty good!  The chapters switch between the life of a girl Rose, growing up in England during WW2 and then her as an older woman dying of cancer.  There are some pretty shocking moments during the book, and I’m pretty sure it was the author’s first novel!  Very impressed.

Now I’m reading a collection of short stories written by authors such as Stephenie Meyer of the Twilight series, called Prom Nights From Hell.  Lol cheesy but actually pretty good!  I’m only past the first story, but it’s pretty good so far!

Also finally watching the movie, The Runaways.  I wanted to see it, but with the way my memory is, and how this computer chair is so uncomfortable to sit in for a long period of time, I keep forgetting all the movies I’ve wanted to see!  Really good so far!  Mind you I don’t know the original story of the band to compare, but as just a person watching a movie, I’m really liking it!

Alright, this week coming not a whole lot on the agenda.  Groceries, library, and trying to figure out how to get rid of fruit flies!  I have nothing out for them to eat… and yet here they are!  WTF!!!

Take care ladies and gents, and have a wikid weed!  *hugs*

PS  Have a great Canada Day!

Doctors Appointment

Watching Korea vs. Nigeria… just starting.  Trying to watch two games at once is just NOT fair lol.  I hate that they aren’t separated and because of my doctors appointment, I couldn’t watch the ones in the morning.

like my old family dog with my guinea pig... once he realized he was family too and not allowed to be food lol

My appointment went good!  When I went to my old doctor, I dreaded asking him for help on anything because he always said no and brushed it off!  I love my new doctor, because she realizes I actually need these things done.  Nothing extreme or without reason.  I got my physical done and she noticed how my breathing was really wheezing so I’m back on my stupid inhaler.  I hate taking meds have you guessed?  I make the worst patient for trying to put me on stuff, but I have gotten a little freaked out on nights when it’s been really muggy and having a hard time breathing, so at least now I have it if I need it.  Notice how it always ends in… if I need it? hehe.  I did get a preventative too, which I will take, bc then I’d be less likely to take the other one lol.

I also got a referral to the allergist here to get my skin scraped lol.  Nah, I asked for it bc I want to figure out what makes my allergies so bad… which is where I think the breathing troubles are coming from.  Plus my sister has deadly food allergies and so does my mom and grams, so it would be nice to see if I can eat things like sea food, etc. bc they can’t.  I mainly want to know, bc it’s in a lot of medicines and vitamins especially… and ones I take too that make me sick to my stomach.  Plus a lot of people with pots full blown, end up with a bunch of deadly allergies.. so it’s a good thing to get checked overall.

The mom and I went to Zellers and I got a notebook to track my food and medicines for my Dietitian, and got my vitamins for the month.  I found a cheaper multi-vitamin with all the same vitamins in my expensive one … but once I got home I realized that I have to go back to my old one after I’m done with this, or onto one like my expensive one, bc there isn’t high enough iu’s or mg’s in some of the ones, and it would be cheaper than buying them separately to make up for it I think.  Either way I got a month to figure it out lol.

It’s sickening to have been finally down to just a few med.s a day.. including the vitamins… to be back up to taking 7 or more plus inhalers.  But it’s mainly for the season I suppose.  Was weird, bc usually when I go to a doctor’s office my blood pressure soars bc I’m antsy and then after a while it goes back to normal… today it was low!  I don’t know what my pots is doing lol.  I don’t know if I have H-POTS the rare one then since it’s been normal or low, or not… I just wish that damn Neurologist would call to make an appointment.

I got home to watch FIFA WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO lol and I had a message from the doctors office saying my samples weren’t good enough, so I have to go BACK in and do it again, and then go down to the blood clinic, and get it done too.  Will try to do it this week if I can.

Alright, not much to say.  Shakey, but feeling pretty good 🙂  Going to see if it’s still storming, and if not, going to do some laundry.

Ttyl.

Ash,

Psych Appointment

I seriously love Maeve.  She is a kick ass, get it done, true, Irish woman lol.  She’s not afraid to tell it like it is, but she’s so nice if you’re the same way with her.

my desktop photo hehe love pigs!

My mom took me in, and I was 5 minutes early.  She came out within a minute of me showing up and had me go in her office and I was out 5 minutes after my appointment started lol.  She’s awesome.  You don’t leave feeling like nothing was accomplished either.  You just go in, she asks what you want and why, she either agrees or disagrees and then asks about my health and if my doctors are being good to me, and then I’m out lol.  My mom thought I didn’t get to go in when I came out so soon.  It’s weird being in that building though bc  it’s where I used to work!  They rented the space over, after my last job moved weeeiiirrd.

So I got my med.s to have on hand if my depression goes out of whack.  They’re actually addictive, but she doesn’t mind giving them to me, bc the last time she gave them to me was 3 years ago and I still have like 20 in the bottle lol.  I just got new ones bc the old ones are obviously no good now, and it’s nice to know they’re there, even though I never take them lol.  She also gave me the okay to move up on my sleeping pills on the nights I needed to.  She laughs at me bc she knows I hate them and will only take them if I have to.  She said she knew I’d come back, bc of my resistance and the dosage being so small that she gave me (I refused to take a normal dose lol hate the side effects) so she thought it was funny I was stubborn since November and FINALLY came and asked for the normal amount lol.  AND she said I don’t have to take them every night which I know with some you do, so I was really glad for that bc I was just in case, when I knew the odd night I wouldn’t have had to.

Afterward, mom took me to the library and I got 4 books.  The one I’m reading right now is the newest Sookie Stackhouse Mystery (the books True Blood is after), and it was published this year, so I’m stoked to read it!!!

Father’s Day was good!  We spent the whole time outside on the patio visiting with dad and Lois, and Kiet & Diane came by (who are basically family to me), then Mike dropped Nick off and he had to entertain everyone too being a ham.  If you’re on my Facebook, I uploaded a video on there of him, Amanda and I in the car on the way home, and he’s busting it to Footloose lol.  It was hilarious.

Mom stopped in and visited for a while, and we were both on the floor cuddling with Zeus LOL.  He’s been cranky, and sucky because yesterday was the first day I had left him for a long period of time and I had to pay for it lol.  He seems more back to his normal dick self now.

Alright, gonna hit the sheets bc I have my family doctor appointment tomorrow at 10am.  I am asking for a few referrals to do with my POTS bc I STILL haven’t heard from the Neurologist, so hopefully she’ll do it.  I went over the list (I can’t remember anything when I’m at the doctor’s) and she said all that would be fine and she’d do it.  (She’s her family doctor too).

Take care everyone *hugs*

Ash,

Dietitian Appointment

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday like I was going to, but I was exhausted, and not in the mood to write.  I actually had a good dietitian appointment!  She wasn’t too good at knowing anything about POTS food wise, but we got talking about vitamins and stuff to talk to the neurologist about.  I am going to start back taking my Calcium with Vitamin D, but I’m most certainly adding Magnesium.  90% of ALL people are deficient in Magnesium, and take waaay to much Calcium which depletes your Magnesium levels even more.  All the symptoms of deficiency are a lot of the symptoms in POTS… crazy.  So I figure even if it doesn’t get rid of my symptoms, if it helps lower how bad some of them are… then it’s a definite win.

sweet

Thursday, I was able to go pick up the $20 package of groceries… I’m most definitely going to have to ask someone if they will be able to drop it off to me (the comp. might in disabled cases) bc I got the box full of food plus a ten lbs bag of potatoes, and by the time I hit the bottom of the stairs, my face was flushed and I almost passed out right there.  My mom had parked the van about 20 feet from there, and I just called, “Help!” and she jumped out freaking lol.  Thank God for not having to explain myself.  She just saw my face and my arms and legs shaking and ran over.  It was heavy!  I got lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, cheerios, the potatoes, juice, bread, nutrigrain bars, etc.  And not too much either so it will go to waste.  Just the right amount for a single person.  Wouldn’t really work for a family, but definitely worth the money so I’ll keep doing it.

I talked to my counselor about how stressful the not eating some days is.. most days.  Marlene is wikid, but 2 days a week is not enough cooking wise, and due to budgets, etc. I am only eligible for 2 days, which is awesome, but hard of the days I don’t have her.  She is going to be looking into (and had already been, she knows me too well) different comp. that could help bring me a meal.  The only thing making me not eligible for most is my age.  I’m too damn young.  She is a real kick ass woman, so she knows how to get things done lol.  Thank God I have her, bc the fact that she used to be a nurse, and is so well known and respected here, and the fact that I gained her respect by doing all the work depression wise, means she has my back forever.  She does anything for me in her power.  A lot of stuff I know she doesn’t have to and I’m so lucky she is so caring for me.

I’m watching a wikid documentary that my mate Justin sent me to watch about the makings of the Nightmare On Elm St. movies.  It’s awesome so far!  SOOOO long, which wouldn’t phase me but my arms and back are killing me from sitting in this crappy fold out chair for so long watching it LOL.  Like actual sore muscles LOL.  I need to get a proper chair!

Zeus has become obsessed with one of my face cloths.  He rubs it all over his face, hides his face in it, and snuggles and sleeps with it… he is right now too lol.  I caught him kind of being snuggly with it the other day and posted it on my YouTube channel, so you’ll have to go check it out.  Makes me totally melt 🙂 hehe.

So I FINALLY get to see Carlie and her baby Wyatte this Sunday before I go to my dad’s.  My mom brought the high chair by yesterday and I have his little stuffed dog holding a heart to give him too.  He’s cutting his second tooth, and I hate that I’ve missed seeing him already, so I’m really excited.

Like I said; Sunday, Amanda and I are going to dad’s for a few hours, then Mike will drop Nick off near there (he’s scared of my dad lol) and he’ll get to see his Grandma Lois and Papa Tickle Beard lol (he calls him that from his goatee)

Monday is my appointment with my psych. at the Mental Health Clinic for a med. review from me having a bit of a relapse there.  I think it’s bc of being alone so much.  When I’m healthy, I’m very independent, but also very social, so with not seeing ANYone barely and not having any help with food, etc.  I think that’s the biggest reason why my depression kicked my butt.

I found out last night, that a really good friend of the family Pat (Patricia) passed away :(.  She found out she had aneurysms but she ended up passing from an infection after a surgery.  I feel so sad for her husband who’s really close with my dad, bc he andPat were so in love.  She had such a great personality (New Jersey & Italian decent) that the world is definitely losing a true hearted person with her death.

Alright, heading out.. Happy Father’s Day to all the papa’s out there! Xo!

Ash,

FIFA BABY WOOOOOOOOO!

FIFA!

Okay anyone who knows me knows I like sports, but I’m not huge either way… but when it comes to soccer mmmm LOL.  I LOVE it!  Since college when I used to run home from classes to catch the games, it’s become a sad problem I have every year!  Not very many things will get me up at 7am lol.

Also wikid news… True Blood is back!!!  I LOVE this show.  Not at all like the Sookie Stackhouse mystery novels, which are among my favorite series of books, but I love the show anyway.  Definitely one of the few HBO type shows I like to watch.

I had been feeling pretty bad this week, to the point where some days I just didn’t eat bc I couldn’t get up to do anything more than pass out lol.  My mom was nice to come out a lot and see if I needed anything.  I was constantly in and out of sleeping having around 3-5 naps a day lol.  It was sad.

Yesterday I went up to my mom’s and I was exhausted just sitting in the rocking chair visiting with every one.  Going up and down the stairs there is a bitch to deal with too.  My mom saw me blanked out and told me to sleep for a bit lol.  But I got lots of cuddles from the animals there 🙂 they’re my second babies lol.

True Blood

Today I am actually feeling pretty good!  I got vacuuming done, litter box dumped and the garbage ready to go out.  I have more to do and I’ve lost a lot of my energy, but I’m still pushing hehe.  My mom just stopped by with Mcdonalds and I plowed it into me and now I’m dieing LOL. I think everyone regrets eating this crap after wards… why don’t we know better???  Ate waaaay too much lol.

This Sunday is Father’s Day… I think… we’re going to my dad’s anyway to visit, which will be nice bc I haven’t seen him since Easter!

Alright, the Brazil vs. creepy N. Korea game is starting so I’m gonna jet.

Ttyl.

Ash,

Murdering

Love watching or reading those novels (Ann Rule rocks!) about murders.  I don’t know why,  but it’s really interesting to me lol.  Especially serial killers.  I guess it explains why I want to work with men in prison lol.  Creepy but too interesting to stay away from… with armed guards and drooling German Shepards too of course lol.  This one is about the Belush murders… I think I wrote their name right lol.

from Marlene

Marlene my PSW which I mention from time to time, is from Peru.  They eat their dinner at lunch time, and since she comes to my place in the late morning, she always cooks me a yummy Peruvian meal and I have it for left overs at our dinner time later.  It’s full of salt and always great tasting, which is awesome for my pots bc it helps raise my blood pressure back to normal.  (That’s right!  Constant low blood pressure now, even when I’m feeling half decent.)  But anyway, as good as it is for my pots, it’s horrifying my crohn’s disease and making my stomach feel like freddy krueger is inside trying to get out alien style through the belly lol.  I don’t know if it’s the food (she fries a lot of the stuff and adds things like vinegar, etc.) or if it’s the time I’m eating.  I do notice if my stomach hurts, it’s usually at night, after dinner time.  I really think it’s just the heaviness of the meal no matter when I eat it, but in our culture that’s usually dinner time, but I have to be able to get protein and I can’t eat a lot of fish, and the only nuts I can have are peanuts, and that’s only sometimes.  So how the hell am I supposed to get it?  Any ideas people?  I need to be eating smaller meals with little to no meat, and if so, only chicken.

for Zeus

So I checked out an apartment yesterday which is 3 blocks from my place, but it’s in a BAD area.  City like of course, it takes only two blocks, more like one, to be in a bad area (I’m in a good one here weirdly enough) and there’s no bus near by.  The nearest one, is the one that’s two blocks from here in the other direction, so it would be even further to walk lol.  It was really nice though!  Lots of windows, open concept, big bedroom, and a little storage space, but I’m not going to take it.  I want to be off the ground floor so I can open my windows at night while I sleep without worrying if someone is going to break in.  I’m in a basement now, but even a first floor doesn’t really do any good in that area.  But then I’d have to be in a building with an elevator.  BLAH! lol.  I’m glad I can afford to be picky, bc my lease isn’t up here until November.

Speaking of Marlene… she noticed Zeus drinks out of a mug… yes… he does lol.  He refuses to drink out of a cat dish.  He’ll either drink out of the toilet *gags* and get water on the toilet seat lol or drinks out of my water glass!  Which I REALLY don’t like if he drinks out of the toilet bowl! lol.  So I remembered my friend said his cats were the same way and used glasses, so I got a mug out and BOOM no more sharing my water, or checking the toilet seat for water splashes lol.  Sweet Marlene though, went out and bought Zeus a ceramic cat dish for him, thinking if it was made of something like the mug (he was using a steel dish before) then maybe he’d drink out of it lol.  Too cute.  I’m surprised she likes him bc he screams at her the whole time I’m in the bath bc I shut the door and he can’t get in lol, then runs away from her if she tries to console him.  He’s getting used to her now though.  If I’m around he’ll let her pet him, and he’ll stick his face in her shoes and purse to smell her pets lol.

The weather has been great here.  Warm today, but no major humidity or anything, so I love it 🙂  I haven’t been out a lot, but it’s been more tolerable for when I have been.

Got the The Fury, which is the books the show, The Vampire Diaries is made from.  I thought they’d be dumb, but a friend reassured me they were great, so I figured I’d give them a go and see lol.  I couldn’t start at The Awakening bc the library sucks!  lol.

So if any of you remember me mentioning Candace (the social service worker student) she and her friends are going to be in a MTV reality tv show!  I’m excited to watch it bc I think the world of her, and her friends seem hilarious, so you all need to join the facebook group for updates to watch the show when it starts!   I’ll mention more when I find out too, and post the link to the group in the side bar.

Next week is my dietitian appointment, so I’ll write more then and then more often after wards since I have a lot of appointments coming up the week after.

Take care 🙂

Ash,

PS  True Blood Season 3 this Sunday at 9pm! WOO HOO!