Family Doctor Appointment

Hey!  Sorry I didn’t write right away, but I just didn’t have the energy to sit at the computer and write out all I wanted to mention.

Susan picked me up and took me to my doctor‘s appointment.  I still can’t get used to how willing to help my doctor is!  I am used to my last doctor throwing away and not listening to me and rushing like he needed to pee! lol.  It’s so remarkable to have someone willing and wanting to do everything she can… someone who actually cares how I’m doing!  I am truly lucky to have her as my doctor.

She told me to try Volteran for my fibromyalgia pain.  Have any of you tried it?  What is your experience with gels and creams to help with pain?  I noticed it helped my lower hip/butt area pain, but not my hands and fingers.  Mind you I didn’t rest them either.

I got her to check out my knee.  When you have any sort of chronic problem with your body, no matter what it is, you know when something is different.  It was a little different of a pain in my knee from the rest, and is almost constant and by far more painful.  I was cool with just leaving as is, if she said it was fibromyalgia as well, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t something else considering I was told when I was younger, I may some day need knee surgery.  I come to find out when I am sitting I get this almost restless feeling in my left side and I twist and sounds like my hip cracks… that’s not been my hip.  It’s my knee popping back into place! Lol.  My doctor just moved my leg three different ways and POP!!!  So apparently my knees grind into my leg bones.  Not arthritis, but Patellofemoral something or other lol.  Nothing can really be done, medically, but you knees are weakened and make your knees more prone to injury.  The only thing you can do is these Patellofermoral physical therapy exercises that help strengthen the knee joints, etc.

She also switched my Pantaprazol for my Crohn’s pain, to instead of a sodium form of the pill, to a magnesium form of it.  I actually keep forgetting to try it bc my pill box for the week is filled with the old one and I keep just automatically taking it lol.  But I will let yas know if there is any difference when I give it a go.  But I was pretty mad to find out there were crohn’s ulcers, scrapes, etc. seen in my Ilium that they didn’t mention to me when I was there.  They had only said inflammation.  There were also some ulcers found where my stomach attaches to the Ilium too when they said it was fine.  I think even if nothing is to be worried about or done about it, that I at least have the right to know what’s happening in my body.

I also looked at my sleep study info.  Apparently I slept less than 3 hours, and woke up 83 times in that time!  The recommended me getting a night guard bc I grind my teeth… done, they also said I have restless leg syndrome even once I’m asleep so I should get meds for that.  I said no bc I know it can keep me up at night, but it’s not there every night, and it’s not reason I haven’t slept properly for the last 14 years.  It just showed up in the last year.  So my only option is back to my psychiatrist who had been helping me before with my depression medicine and sleep med.s and start trying more sleeping pills.  She’s the one that has the long list of ones I’ve already tried… I have no idea what all I have.

I have no idea why, but it’s 3am and my cat is screaming and driving me nuts!!!  I think he’s bored, but he’s pissing me off and probably my neighbors too! lol.

Amanda and I went and saw the new Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher movie… No Strings Attached.  Very funny and definitely good.  I wouldn’t recommend going to the theater to see it, but definitely rent it when it comes out!  This weekend we are hoping to go see the new Anthony Hopkins movie, the Rite.  I can’t wait!

Next up is my Cardiologist appointment next Friday.  Should be interesting to see what he says.

Talk to yas later!




Busy Bee!

My lease for my apartment here is up March 1st, but I was told I can move in any time into the new one.  I said I wanted to wait until the floor in the bathroom was redone.  Would give me time to pack without actually killing myself rushing, and I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to unpack, worry about Zeus getting outside, while  work men were coming in and out of the new place.

My sis came up and helped one evening with books movies, some bedding and clothes that were hard for me to get at with pots, and Susan’s student Aarifa like I mentioned as well, came by for an hour and helped get all the dishes out of the kitchen on the highest shelves, since I’m notorious for passing out in the kitchen it seems like.  I’ve now packed everything else except the clothes, and bathroom stuff, etc. I’m still using until up until the move.

As I’ve been packing, I’ve been cleaning the walls, and shelves, etc. and getting rid of the stuff I’m not bringing with me.  The only thing I hadn’t been doing was the carpet bc yet again I broke a vacuum!  I don’t know how I do this, but I just give it to my mom and she always figures out what’s wrong to fix it.  My red one she gave me that was light weight that broke, she couldn’t figure it out though!  So I had to borrow my grandma’s vacuum until I get out to get a new one.  I was cool with that until I saw the thing!  I a HUGE one and crazy heavy!  It works great, but has taken me three days and help from my mom to be able to vacuum this apartment lol.  I am finally done until everything gets moved out, and then I’ll have to do it again.

The reason I bothered to do it at all, is I am having the rental company tomorrow come here, to do a last inspection before the move.  With Zeus’ hair, and mine now partly falling out, there  was hair everywhere!  The vacuum has one of the big ass canisters you just have to empty… I’ve emptied it twice now and it’s full again lol.  That’s how bad it’s been since Christmas!  But I was just using a carpet sweeper… that yes, I broke too lol so I don’t think it was getting everything up, just what was on the surface.

Today, I went to the dentist for a teeth cleaning, and to get some cavities filled, but they got freaked out about my mitral valve prolapse, so I have to come back for that.  Normally bc I have horrible sensitivity, they freeze my mouth for even the cleaning, but they were freaked out to do that!  So I got a basic cleaning and some whitening done in between me being ready to punch the sweet hygienist for the pain.  And now I have to call the local dental college here, about getting a treatment done with freezing, so they can get in and under the gums bc they’re so inflamed they need two appointments alone to make sure they get done properly and completely!  Ahhh 😦  I asked them what I was doing wrong.  I use special tooth paste for my teeth, I brush daily, I floss, wtf!!!!  So bc I have all these digestive wrecking illnesses, they’re causing the acid reflux problem I mentioned… so that, my medicine that’s supposed to help that makes my mouth dryer, along with other medicine I’m on, so it’s destroying my teeth.  And because my lovely immune system is a piece of crap, the damage isn’t able to heal on its own like my dentist hoped, it’s only making matters worse, causing them to have to do even more work!!!  So I go back in a few weeks to get the cavities and breaking … yes breaking teeth fixed, and then I am going to be getting a hold of the college for 3 more appointments.  Very stressful, bc my dentist warned me that all this work is going to make my teeth in the back even more sensitive, but obviously the work needs to be done, so there’s no way to help that.  At this point, the sensitivity is the least of the problems to worry about.  So long as my teeth are healthy.

Next week, I go to my doctors appointment about my fibromyalgia and sleep clinic study and getting her to fill out some forms for disability to prove that I am sick, and that’s why I’m moving (even though in order to get disability in the first place you obviously have to prove your sick) but whatever!  Lol.

Then the week after that, I go back in to see the Cardiologist.  Obviously the Bisoprolol is STILL not doing it’s job after almost a year.  I think it’s been 9 months now.  So he better switch my beta blocker or I’m going to go absolutely bat shit crazy!… if bat shit can make you crazy! haha.

The just after my next dental appointment, I go in to see the Neurologist!  Hopefully he’ll have some ideas 🙂  I’m really hoping he’ll be willing to do some more autonomic testing on me than the cardioloy type stuff I’ve had done to get more answers about my pots.  We shall see.  I’m excited 🙂

And yes at some point in between, I’ll be moving lol.  Actually, tomorrow, the student and I are going to compare dates of when it will work.  So I am thinking if it’s good with them, moving a week tomorrow.

I’ll write more next week!


Blah Why Am I Breaking?

I know we ALL go through the grieving process of going through physical illnesses, and yes those days blow sometimes worse than the illnesses themselves!  I am thankful I haven’t gone through one of those moments in quite a while.  It’s so draining and overwhelming!  I am however have a bit of a relapse with my depression.  Not so much a relapse, bc I consider that to be sick all over again and needing to be treated for it, but instead more of a set back.  Nothing in particular seems to be the cause of it, and it can leave as quickly as it comes.

I’ve been feeling down and out of it for a while, and when my various aches and wantings to vomit subside long enough to let me, all I do is sleep.  I feel like I just want to sleep until the next thing happens, and wake up long enough for that, and go back to bed again.  I wake up and feel like I’m asking myself, what’s the point?  I have tons I could be doing, but I’m not feeling well enough to do any of it… so I just go back to sleep since I don’t feel like watching tv or playing on the computer all day.

I have no interest in going anywhere when I’m in constant pain, and feel like I’m about to throw up every time I’m sitting up for any long stretch of time.  I talked to my dad a couple times yesterday on the phone and I could barely deal with it.  I constantly feel like I’m on the verge of tears, but nothing comes bc I have no real reason for being upset.  I know it started around the time I found out I was getting help with movers.  Wonderful amazing news, and that night I was so upset I almost took my anti anxiety medicine which I may take only a couple times a year, if that.  It really scared me.  And just when I thought I was feeling better emotionally, it started back up again.

I don’t want to call anyone, or deal with anybody bc it’s such a pain for them to constantly deal with me being upset about being sick, or sick of being depressed lol.  It just never ends!  When your whole life revolves around your health, it’s hard not to be thinking of it, bc you’re constantly aware of what your body is doing, and waiting for the worst of it to start up.  That’s not the right way to live, and it’s not the right way to be pulling other people into my pit.  So I’ve just been doing it on my own this time.

I will write more either later this week or next when I have more to share.  I should be finding out this week an exact date when I will be moving.  I just hope even though there is so little left to pack, that I’ll be able to finish it all.

Until Next Time…


It’s Like A Dairy Queen Blizzard Out There!

I was told it was going to be bad this weekend.  I went and got some groceries yesterday so I didn’t have to attempt to go out in the craziness… and boy is it ever!  I’d say one of the biggest hits we’ve had yet!  But I still have no complaints since I’m not a driver, and I love looking out the window and seeing the beautiful snow everywhere 🙂  My parking lot is completely snowed in and it doesn’t look like there’s been a snow plow out for our place at all today.  When the snow plow goes by on the road, it blocks the driveway… kind of funny though.  Last year when my mom would come to pick me up, I would have to walk out across the road to meet her lol.

Speaking of weather…  the terrible scary weather over in Australia right now is so sad!  So many people lost, dead, injured, without homes.  I must say speaking of scary happenings over the world, I saw a little tv documentary on how in Haiti, they are using the rubble from the destroyed homes, to build new ones.  I think it’s bitter sweet in the sense they are building the new life from the old.  Still, couldn’t imagine what they are all going through even now 😦

My social service worker, Susan, has a cousin that runs a private school up in Switzerland, and they are known for doing skiing classes, and it is very much a part of their curriculum and daily life style there.  Right now however, the entire place is having rain pouring on them, and there is no snow to ski on.  That’s scary!  The first time in 40 years that has happened!

With this time of year comes massive flu outbreaks too, but weirdly enough I haven’t heard anything about it yet really.  Yesterday though, I was reading the news and apparently there are crazier amounts of flu cases this year compared to last year!  Thank God I got a flu shot!

My place is being over taken by boxes… and boxes and boxes… and lots of other boxes.  Susan’s student who’s name I actually know how to spell now, Aarifa, came over and packed stuff from all of the cupboards that are up high, and now pretty much EVERYthing is packed that I’m not already using until it gets closer to the time to move.  All I have left is a few things in the bedroom I want to get rid of, and the couch, which the Salvation Army is coming to pick up at the beginning of February.

My poor dad is sick with Bronchitis, and then he and my step mom are going to their yearly winter trip to Arizona, Las Vegas, etc.  When he gets back, he is going to bring his truck up here and bring my big bed and eliptical trainer to my sister since I can’t use either.  So happy I’ll have my futon back soon 🙂

I’d been packing the odd box here and there, but every time I try to my Crohn’s kicks in and I have to rest whether I want to fight it or not.  My postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, is also giving me horrible nausea!  Usually I just get it in the evenings, but lately it’s been all day!  Very sickening to deal with.  I got an anti nausea bracelet, but I don’t find it helps a lot.  Just takes the edge off.

Susan brought me over some arthritis cream to try on my hands, wrists and knees.  It’s all natural so it’s not crazy stinky!  It’s medicinal smelling while your putting it on, and then it goes away!  And it doesn’t get all sticky to your clothes either.  I really like it, it’s nice.  Doesn’t get rid of the pain entirely, but definitely takes the edge off.

Alright, I’m going to head out bc I’m falling asleep as I type and I want to get cleaning some more of the apartment!

Take Care!



I cannot believe how pooped out I am today!  I am literally dragging my butt everywhere it seems lol.


Zeus is more than ready to move too I think!

I’ve been dealing with ODSP (Ontario Disability) getting all the proper information to them about the move for March 1st.  I was very stressed before not knowing if they would fund movers for me or not.  You’re allotted so much money for moving every two years, but they’re so picky about the prices for things, I didn’t know if they’d approve anything I sent them.  Thankfully thanks to my social service worker, Susan, I now have movers through the housing department at her work, who are doing this for me for free!  I couldn’t believe they offered to do this for me.  Not only that, but they will help clean up this apartment once I’m all moved out.

Like I mentioned before, I had been feeling pretty good and getting things packed.  Amanda and Nick came over and she packed like six boxes of movies and books, and bags and bags of clothes, coats, bedding, etc.  I felt horrible, but after they left I packed about four more boxes!  Now I am spent.  I feel like complete garbage and have nothing left of me now.

Susan’s student Aariha … I think it is, came by yesterday and ran me over to the dentist to sign some forms for them to get a hold of my cardiologist, and I got  home and could barely sit up to eat my lunch.  I think my Crohn’s is giving me a bit of a kick and that’s why I’m feeling a little worse for wear.  Indigestion and more pain than usual in my stomach, and lots of back and knee pain too along with the chest and heart palpitations.  So much for thinking for 3 whole days that Bisoprolol is working lol.  The medicine from my G.I.’s is definitely working bc it was no where near as bad as it normally gets, but definitely did affect me.

I will most definitely be moving before March 1st.  They’re basically waiting, bc the owner is redoing the bathroom floor, and putting in new washers and dryers in the building, and then I can move whenever I want!  Which I think is a great thing now, bc my sister found mold growing outside my apartment in the hallway!  Disgusting!  No wonder I’ve felt so badly since living here!

The other night (I found this pretty amusing) the drunk guy, who I have to be honest, I thought had turrets LOL not a funny thing to have, but funny I thought this, when in reality it’s just his drunken slur.  Anyway, he was out in the hallway around 3am.  I had woken up around 1am and couldn’t sleep so I was watching Iron Man.  I went to the peep hole at my door and saw him swaying all over the place half making crying noises, half angry noises and he was banging on a door to get it… this is the same apartment who set a turkey on fire, evacuating the entire building, but they refused to come out of their apartment until the fire department made them lol.  This is also the same man who was banging on the laundry room door to get in a week before instead of his own apartment!  I didn’t think anything of it, and I just ignored him and went back to my movie.  I hear him go outside and bc my bathroom light was on from when I got up, he started smashing it!!!  Not an easy window to get at either, bc it’s partially under ground, so he had to literally get on his hands and knees and lean in, and punched it like a wild man!  I grabbed the phone bc I was afraid I’d have to call the cops, but he soon stopped and came back in and passed out on the floor outside his apartment crying lol.

Besides all that craziness, things are going great!  I just need my health to give me a little nice boost of energy to keep going until this move is over.

I go to the dentist next week for my cavities and teeth cleaning EEEEEKKKK!  And then to my family doctor.  Then next month, I see the Neurologist/ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome specialist!!!!!  I can’t wait to work with him!  I will also at some point in February be seeing my Cardiologist.  I heard from his secretary yesterday and I am good to go with the dentist without any worries.

Take Care



Insomnia Monday… No Wait Wednesday lol

Okay I’m totally out of it.. and as the title shows on NO sleep.  I apologize in advance to my horrible writing mistakes in this post bc even though there is a spell checker, I’m notorious for putting wrong words spelt right in the wrong spot… now you’re feeling as confused as I am aren’t you? Good… I’m not alone then.

So I had 3 great days.  The 3 best days I’ve had in about 5 years.  I felt good, had some boxes and some Christmas crazy going on in the apartment and I just went nuts packing stuff.  My place feels hollow now and very echoy… sadly my neighbors sex life has seemed to become more echoy as well *shudders*

Susan my Social Service Worker, has a new student Aristha or something and every time I say it, I’m saying a totally different name lol.  She’s older, which I like.  And she and Susan came by today for me to meet her.  Aristha or whatever she is, is coming by tomorrow for her first session with me.  Zeus made it very clear she digusts him and wouldn’t let her go near him without flailing and running off to the tub to scream his usual grumpy rant.  Mind you bc I didn’t sleep… that means he didn’t either.

I got rid of a whole whack load of more stuff on the Free Cycle site.  Google it bitches, bc you can get and give away free stuff in your city.  Such a great idea, bc it saves so many items from going to the dump, and helps many people who don’t have a lot of money.  I’ve gotten some stupid items that turned out to be more of a pain, and I’ve gotten great things too like my bread maker which I love!  Definitely recommend it.  The only thing I’m waiting to give away now is my couch.

I’ve been reading a LOT lately.  I finished up the new CSI digi novel which was amazing!  Also read Bitch in the Kitch and the first of the series… cannot remember its name and I lent it to my step mom to borrow.  It’s about all the interesting facts to do with food with a lot of sarcasm and swearing thrown in… perfection.  Changed my whole ideal on eating and cooking too!  Bitch in the Kitch is actually one of the cookbooks so you’d want to read the first book obviously before buying it.  So funny too.  I’ve also finished one of the free novels I got with my Kobo.. The Preacher’s something or other.  Good but wouldn’t bother to recommend it to anyone.  And am now reading everything Edgar Allen Poe has ever written lol.  I love his short stories especially!  Oh!  And read the play, The Importance of Being Ernest… omg I LOVE it!  I wish it was longer, and that I could see it performed live!

Anyway, besides that I’ve been on the phone like a fat kid clings to the refrigerator and I hate it lol.  I hate the telephone!  So many little things disability needs done.  Proving that I’m moving bc of health conditions, proving I am approved and actually moving to the new apartment… weirdos.  And getting quotes sent over to them for movers.  What do they care so long as I give them a receipt?  Which they’ll need too lol.

Also been on the phone starting my month of doctors appointment bookings!  Had a horrible time getting a hold of anyone of Christmas and the week after.  My family doctor for my knee and fibromyalgia, and my sleep study.. Susan is taking me as well to see what all my tests have said since my numb brain won’t remember everything.  Then I have to run to the dentist on Monday with the student social service worker (the same program I’m in) and sign a consent for my needle poking dentist to get a hold of my Cardiologist.  Since he NEVER phones me back! Grrrrr.    As well the Crohn’s Disease dudes to make my check up appointment… yes it’s been almost a month on these new pills.  They are now helping greatly with the heart burn and acid burn in the stomach, BUT I still have nerve damage pain that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what they give me… except Amytripline which I can’t take thanx to Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.

So a lot of my facebook, etc. friends have noticed me being absent a lot.  A big part of it was just all the holiday business and being with family a lot.  And now my computer which has always been a piece of crap is getting even worse!  To write an email on facebook, I literally have to wait a good 20 minutes after I’ve finished typing it, for the computer to actually input it onto the screen!  It’s insane!  Surprisingly, knock on wood, this program so far isn’t being effected, but hotmail, facebook and yahoo mail seems to be very hard to manouver around without a lot of swearing and giving up to go sit on the couch and try it again later.

I hope you’re all well and not still pooped out from the holidays!  We all seem to slowly but surely coming back to our normal crappy selves lol.  Xo!