Invisible Awareness

snow from last night

snow from last night

Knowing that it’s Invisible Awareness Day, why not make yourself known about a condition of someone you know who is suffering from an illness that is not seen just by looking at them.  This applies to many illnesses, not only my own, my sister, family, and close friends, but many other illnesses as well.  If you think you already know what there is, look it up any way.  I bet you will learn something new, if not have a better outlook on what it is like for them on a day to day basis.

I have not been chatting much with people bc I haven’t been well.  If I don’t get back right away, I will be hoping tomorrow after grocery shopping to read all the emails on here, Facebook, and Hotmail to catch up.

I thought it would be a nice idea to go down to a local place that sells used movies, games, systems, etc. and get a Wii.  I would never buy a game console that allows me to sit for hours upon hours on my ass, so I thought this would be the perfect one.

I took the bus by myself.  I got off the bus and it was basically right across the street.  Unfortunately, it was a five block walk to the bus depot to get back home, all uphill.  Normally this would be nothing, but it hit me so badly this time, I was shaking like crazy and couldn’t get my body to calm down even once I was sitting.  So instead of resting like I should have been, I over did it and can now barely function.  Just trying to sleep it off as much as I can.  For games, which I have yet to try, it came with Fit and Resort.  And I got two dancing games and a movie, Drag Me To Hell.  Crazy cheap prices there.  I spent way less then I thought I was going to have to too just for the game console, and I got two free games with it!  Will be fun to try!

Just want to remind everyone of the Awareness Day, and now I’m back to zzzzz’s.

Ash,

February Madness

feb17 014I seriously feel about as bad as I do when going through a Crohn’s relapse.  That’s fine and all, I just need time to rest and relax so that I don’t end up in the hospital.  It seems like all this stuff is being piled on me right now.  Some things normal, like getting paid, so I need to go grocery shopping (which kills me on a good day) and having to do my laundry (which is just not going to happen right now) my PSW coming, which is a HUGE help with cleaning up my apartment which is turning into a pig sty.  It’s hard to deal with any kind of company though when you feel this terrible, bc I have to be up and moving to let her in, and let her know what I need her to do.

I also, good news of course, have JP from housing coming tomorrow morning to work on moving my shelving in the bathroom around to fit in the washer dryer set I choose.  My landlord made a quick little open concept closet for extra clothes in there, and a small shelf to hold my towels, linen, etc.  So it won’t be hard for JP to basically remove the closet part, and move the shelving down to the end of the wall, so the washer and dryer can sit right next to the plug and piping system.  He even offered to run me over to an appliance place to look at washers and dryers, but with my PSW Lilian coming, I can’t, and to be honest I just don’t have it in me right now!

Plus, I heard from an old student of Susan my Social Service Worker, Amy, who was great, and is willing to help me finish one of the classes I was doing at Loyalist.  It’s like a Prior Learning Assessment course, which I had all done almost two years ago, except for building the portfolio, before I got too sick to deal with it.  So she’s coming by next week to work on it with me, and see what she did in hers when she took the class.  Will be totally awesome to see her and catch up bc she’s such a great person, I just feel like it’s going to kill me to do it right now.

As well, when the student that’s with Susan right now, Alissa comes back from reading week, her and I are supposed to go out on a bus trip around town.  I was thinking the Bayview Mall near my place to get Zeus a water fountain I saw at The Bargain Shop for around $14 would be something to do.  I was going to have her go get cat food with me at the vets, but she’s allergic to cats.  Zeus doesn’t climb around her, so it doesn’t affect her, but the vets would probably be too much to test it.  Plus Zeus will need some canned food before she’s back.

I know there is even more going on, like me helping mom paint her doors and stuff, and then my tests coming up for the possible Gallbladder problems, and whatever else I just can’t think of right now, but I DO NOT feel like I can handle any of it.  The tests yeah of course, bc I need to know what’s going on to feel better, but the rest I just want to scream at the thoughts of doing until after I get whatever is going on fixed.

On a nice note… which is something I’ll have to do too lol, I got a call from the G.I. doctor in Belleville finally!  I go in for a meeting the doctor visit the fifth of April.  So that’s good to know that I will be finally having another specialist moved from Kingston to Belleville.  Then I will only have my Neurologist in Kingston, which is totally fine bc he’s awesome, and I only see him a couple times a year usually.  Right now though, since my G.I.s in Kingston are the ones dealing with the sickness issue, I have to stay with them until I find out the prognosis.

Which reminds me, that I have to make an appointment with my family doctor too to get a disability form filled out, so that when I go to my appointments in Kingston, I can be refunded the gas money to pay to my mom or Grams, or whoever has to take me.  HUGE help!

If I’m not online much in the next month, or not home much, don’t worry, it’s just me trying to rest when I get the chance too.  Feel free to e-mail, etc. and I will try to stay in touch with everyone as much as I can.

Ash,

PS I noticed tonight my tomato plants are slowly starting to pop up! YAY!

I Am Slowly Going Crazy

pretty flowers from my Grams

pretty flowers from my Grams

I’m a pretty positive person.  I try to look at bad days as only temporary and remind myself that the next day will only get better.  This week is definitely putting that statement for a ride!  Every day I wake up to feeling more and more terrible than I did the day before.  My highlight from today… being able to finally have a damn shower!  Mind you my hair didn’t get washed, but my body isn’t smelly! lol.

I am getting a bunch of cleaning stuff when I go grocery shopping at the end of this week so I can do the big overhaul cleaning of the apartment.  It kills me to do it, but I keep noticing more and more stuff on walls that needs to be wiped down… like black fingerprints on the door from when I do crossword books LOL.  I think the only reason I feel antsy to do it though, is bc I don’t feel well enough to actually do it!  That or I’d feel like I’m turning into the female version of my dad who’d follow you around with a broom and paper towel just in case any dirt came off you lol.  Jk jk!

Zeus misbehaving!

Zeus misbehaving!

My goal, since I will be impatient as shit during April to want to garden, was to save the big cleaning until then.  So it would keep me busy and keep my hands out of the plants, but depending on how I feel, I might start early.

I am also thinking of chopping off a big chunk of my hair.  Canada won’t take my hair for cancer patients bc it’s dyed.  The States accepts dyed hair, but not out of the country hair… so this growing has been for a waste!  When I wash my hair, it takes me a good twenty minutes or more to brush it after.  I have to go through sections in order to keep my brush from being sucked into the rats nest… and since I break brushes on a regular basis, I think it would be nice for a change.

one of the scarves to sell

one of the scarves to sell

I keep getting these headaches in my eyes that I used to get when I was on Effexor.  I only ever got it, when I was late or missed a dose.  So the other day I woke up really early, so I didn’t take my new medicine early, and waited… aka forgot.  Today I wake up crazy early again and the same thing!  Went to take my nightly med.s and realized I totally forgot to take the morning one again!

My stomach is acting like I have been drinking coffee on an empty stomach times a hundred.  I can’t wait to get the testing done on the 13th of this month so I can finally get something done about this pain… hopefully!

My landlord came by today and got my tax info. for me.  He’s so nice to do mine for free!  And my counselor Susan came over too for a bit to catch up.  Was a much needed session (now realizing bc I missed my damn med.s No wonder I’m so loopy)

I feel at any moment I’m either going to burst into tears for no reason, or start laughing uncontrollably… I really need to take my med.s tomorrow morning lol.

Ash,

End of February

feb22 001This week has been good!  I got to see a friend Theone and her beautiful, four month old, Aria.  She’s such a happy, friendly baby.  I made sure Nick got lots of cuddles too and took pictures 🙂  Theone is looking amazing, and Aria has her pretty blue eyes.

I made a patchwork like blanket for Zeus, since the old one was getting tattered, and his claws stick to it like crazy.  This one is a lot sturdier and thicker, so he can lay down on it and enjoy it in his bed!

feb17 013I went up to mom’s on Family Day with Amanda and Nick.  We had yummy cold salads and homemade chocolate pie, and butterscotch pie.  I love to bake, but hate making pies.  Too much watching needed in the process lol.

Got all my mini tomatoes, and green and red pepper plants started on the windowsill, and am now working on a rug  hooking kit I got at Michaels a few months or more ago.  I need to go out on a search for buttons that look like eyes to finish my friend Nicole’s fox scarf.

feb22 008This morning Zeus woke me climbing up on me to snuggle, and I realized my stomach was really bothering me.  Not the crazy pain I’ve been getting though, thankfully!  It’s that feeling you get in your stomach when you drink coffee on an empty stomach.  I call it gut rot lol.  I finally had to get up around 4:30am to take my stomach med.s from the GI and waited a bit for them to work before I made some toast.  It’s much better than it was, but I’m still in a lot of pain.

I’m supposed to be going with mom sometime today to look at Habitat for Humanity type stores, to see what type of deals we can get for her working on her townhouse.  Then we are to go back to her place, and I am going to help paint the doors a fresh white.  Hopefully with this pain, I will be able to, bc I really want to help!

Hope you’re all doing well!

Ash,

Do You Hoard?

Not sure if I even spelt that right.  Apparently, I can’t spell spelt either bc it keeps coming up wrong!

Watching Anderson tonight, they were talking about hoarders.  How they try to help the client determine whether they should keep something, is only keeping it if they LOVE it.  For whatever reason, the items in your home, should only be ones you love.

I started looking around my own place, bc I consider myself an anti hoarder.  I’m the type that throws things away almost immediately after I stop using it, then six months down the road, I wish I still had it.  I always try every six months or so too, to go through all of my packed up belongings, and donate whatever I know I won’t use, or don’t like, or don’t have any use for.  Though I cannot say I LOVE everything I have.  There are a few I own, that I was always dieing to have if I ever found, but I was usually too cheap to buy new, and then found later at a second hand store, or was given them as a gift.

feb22 014This mug holder, I got used at Value Village.  I had always wanted one… not sure why, but I loved the look of them (still do!) but wasn’t willing to buy a whole new set of mugs just to get the stand.  So I found the stand by itself at my mom’s work, and snatched it up asap!

feb22 015

I know this thing seems completely silly, but I love having one of these!  I love when I’m cooking, having my big utensils in a little container like this right on the counter, easy to grab by the stove, then having to rustle through some junk drawer trying to find the thing I need.  This one was either my mom’s, or my Grams, who gave it to me.  As you can see, I really could use a second, but I’m holding back lol.

feb22 016

Another totally silly, unnecessary item for the kitchen. I LOVE this.  I had been looking for one, for years, and finally found this one at the Dollar Store!  The fact that I got it there, makes this spoon holding a million times cooler to me lol.  I detest dirty soup spoons, or used coffee spoons sitting on the counter.  It looks bad, and I don’t want to be constantly wiping down my counter space, so this is totally useful for me, and get used numerous times daily!

feb22 017

This picture shows a few things in one I love in the kitchen.  Once I got cooking more and buying cook books, and making up my own little recipe books, and cards, I wanted to get a small shelf like this to have those things neat.  Don’t get me wrong, the junk drawer does exist, and it is filled to the hilt with things, but certain items, I like to be able to get at quickly, and recipes are definitely one.  So that, and my little recipe box sitting on the top were always something I wanted to have.  As well as a fruit basket.  Don’t ask me why.  I don’t understand it.  I just loved the look of fresh fruit, but quickly came to realize when I first moved out on my own, that all the damn fruit goes bad too quickly left out of the fridge before I could eat it.  So I went to JYSK when they had a sale, and bought some fake lemons and apples lol.  The real ones are now always in the crisper.

So I suppose when it comes down to it.  All the idle decorative stuff around my apartment, I absolutely adore and love.  Just other things, like my desk for example I do not LOVE, but it serves a useful purpose so it stays.  The idea of hoarding sends shivers down my spine.  It freaks me out even being a pack rat and that’s nothing! I have too much crap as it is, and have barely any space for anything new.  The last thing I need is to be adding unneeded crap to the bunch!

Ash,