BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

tosell 004My heart rate on Prednisone, is like it was BEFORE I was put on Bisprolol for my Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.  You don’t realize how exhausting a heart rate can make you!  I just sit here, and I feel like my heart is trying to leap out of my chest lol.  Not bad though, considering this was my normal heart rate before.  I just don’t remember it doing it the last time I was on it.

My friend Nicole was like me when it came to Breaking Bad.  Watched the very beginning of it, then boycotted it.  My dad loves it, my sis, my Personal Support Worker even likes it!  So Nicole fell to the dark side and decided to give it another chance, and now she’s into it too!  So of course they can’t jump off the bridge without me dammit!  So I started watching it again too… this was the night before last, and now I am onto Season 4 LOL.

tosell 002My youngest niece Caryn is moving out with her boyfriend, and I’ve been itching to see what I could give her to help them start up, so I have been going through slowly things I have around the apartment.  Things she won’t need, use, etc.  I am selling online on facebook groups.  I have a bunch of crap I always wanted, got it, then never used, or not using any more.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am anti pack rat.  I still have SO MUCH CRAP though!  And I keep collecting more of it, it seems! lol.  So my next medium level goal is to slowly go through all the crap again, books, clothes, stuff packed in the closet, and get rid of a bunch.

So speaking of buying more crap… I did!  I got up to PetSmart, and was able to get some Guinea Pig items, like food, shavings, etc.  for the two I am hoping to adopt from the Humane Society.  The girl there was VERY knowledgeable and passionate about them.  She answered all the questions I have, since it’s been 13 yrs since I had my guinea pig Rodney ❤

sell2 006I was also able to find a guy around my age who breeds fish to help me with starting an aquarium, etc.  Between him and Nicole, they will be bugged lots.  I got the water conditioner in, everything but the lights up and running, and then in a week or two, I will slowly start getting some fish!  It will be fun 🙂  Hence another reason to sell more stuff bc I need money for them lol.

This week is going to be a little busy for me being so weak.  I have the Tuberculosis test Wed. and possibly get the guinea pigs, and my PSW.  Then I have to get groceries at some point for my Friday evening Halloween decorating night with Nick.  Also on Friday, I have to get my Peer Support Worker to come and take me to get my TB final check, and to go get blood work done if it’s not busy there for the GI doctors… since I totally forgot all about it until I found the slip lol.

Last night I went for a walk for the first time in AGES.  I walked down to the store to get garbage tags about 3-4 blocks away.  It was nice walking all down hill the way there, but OMG I was on a nice level of certain death by the time I got back home lol.  I’m proud and glad I did it though 🙂  Next time I will have to make sure I bring my walker.  I brought it to the pet store today bc I was shaking so badly and couldn’t stand for very long, but then I got embarrassed and left it in the car… I know, I know lol.

All right… back to the rug hooking project 🙂

Ash,

Girl Who Needs A Plan

projects 007I need to have something to always be working on.  I feel my best when I have goals set to achieve.  I like little goals, like my weekly to do lists with the chores and dates to remember, longer term goals, like a knitting project, and the long long term goals, like getting my license, etc.  I always feel lost and depressed when my plans get screwed up.  I love change, don’t get me wrong, and I like going with the flow, but some things I like to feel like I have power over.

projects 010My family doctor upped my Lansaprozole for my stomach and it’s made  HUGE difference with the nausea.  At first I thought she was going to do that, and give me an antinausea medication, but this seems to be doing the job.  I can handle weakness, and getting tired, and all the pain, etc. that comes from Prednisone, but it’s been the nausea that has been knocking me on my butt!  I can definitely deal with this dumb medicine until December as long as it stays away and doesn’t make me feel nauseated!

projects 017Today my big plan was just to get the garbage ready to go outside with the recycling and the litter box dumped.  After that, I could have spent the rest of day in bed and still been happy with that.  I got so much more done though!  Don’t worry, not over doing it, and making sure I drink and rest a LOT. BOO!  hehe.  I got outside and dumped all my old planters out, hosed them all down clean and sat them on the deck to dry.  I also got some plants repotted to come indoors over the Winter, and picked some nice red peppers.  I seriously was worried when I planted a mixed pack, that I’d only get green, and now I only have red!  Still doesn’t bother me though, since I like them a lot.

projects 019I also dug out my rug hooking kit that my mom got me, and I got all the patterns out, tools, wool separated, etc. to start, but it looks like two dark green wool packs might be missing hmmm.  Can’t find them anywhere, but if it comes down to needing more later, I’m sure I have wool that will match nicely enough.  Zeus prolonged the fun on this when he decided it was going to be his new napping spot all afternoon.  He was so adorable in the box of wool I couldn’t move him!  (yes sucker should be tattooed on my forehead)

projects 020I was out with my mom yesterday… not sure if I wrote about this in the last post, and we stopped at the Dollar Store and I got a Halloween music CD to play the night of.  Now all I need is my junk food to give out!… and um not eat?  Yeah right…  So I talked to Nick yesterday (youngest nephew who’s 7) and he still wants to come over when I decorate to help out.  We’re going to do up the front entrance room and the dining room the most, since those will be the two places seen by Trick or Treaters.  Then I’m thinking of a dinner concoction since Nick likes my cooking, and is up for trying new things I make.  Watch a movie, relax, eat junk, then if I am well enough, surprise him by taking the bus back to his place for fun.

I am also considering these two guinea pigs that are at the Humane Society.  They have been together forever and they’re only $10 each.  Plus I hate buying animals at pet stores!  Sorry but I do!  So this way, I can still adopt and help an animal… in this case two!  Though anyone who knows Nick… do NOT tell him!!!  I want it to be a surprise for when he comes to decorate, and have them already by here waiting 🙂

projects 009Also when I was out with mom, we stopped at her work and I of course got drawn to the books.  They have buy 4, get one free, and my mom wouldn’t let me pay for them, so she got a discount.  Score!  I got a random array.  A book on aquarium life, etc.  guide book, a book about small dogs, a book about Pugs, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (already read, but I am slowly collecting some of my fav.s) and hmmm let me see…oh a dog training book.  So they’ll be fun to read for now while dreaming of when I’m healthy and can walk more and more and have a dog!  BOO  Okay.. that was my pity moment lol.

This month, I am hoping to get Nick B-day and Dad’s b-day presents, my bro and Deb’s Christmas present, and my other nephew and two nieces theirs… that will leave me to get Nick’s Christmas gift, a small one for my PSW’s son, Holly my Peer Support, and my great nephew Jase something.  Those will be easy enough to get.  Along with the stamps for cards (friends beware… the what’s your address again?  email is coming soon!)  and the wrapping paper, etc. stuff.  Gotta love budgeting month by month… it scares me into this Christmas is closer than it is… which is probably a good thing!

zeuslove 002I also need to go through Zeus’ old toys and find what I can donate away.  He has way too much crap he doesn’t play with, that some other cat my love.  I still hope to do knitted cat nip presents this year, but that depends on how I do on my med.s  I’m already months late from when I normally would have started them!

I have to go back next Wednesday to the doctors to get my other TB test done.  I guess the first time you do it, it’s a two parter.  Wed. left arm… go Friday to make sure no bumps, back Wed. for right arm… and back Friday to make sure there’s no reaction.  When my dr. saw how awful I looked yesterday she said, since I had, had regular allergy tests before, and know what to look for, that as long as there were no bumps, I didn’t have to come back the first Friday.  Just the last to look it all over to be sure.  So far nadda, so at least this will be done and out of the way in time for Remicade.  I like having it all done right away, so I don’t forget anything, or I’m not scrambling around at the last second trying to get everything done.

Will be back next week after some more excitement!

XO Ash,

TB Wed.

It’s been less than a week on Prednisone.  My Neurologist was weirdly right.  I was expecting it to help my Dysautonomia, and instead it has made me feel like I am going through a relapse with it as well.  I am having a hard time with nausea and weakness making it impossible to do pretty much anything.  It’s like forcing myself to have the flu each morning when I take that damn pill.  I will be okay though.  Nothing to worry about, just very frustrating to put myself through for the sake of TRYING to get better.  This better be worth it!  

ImageZeus has been my ever loving little man.  Cuddling up close as we speak, sleeping up tight with me all day and night long not leaving my side.  If I get up to take a shower, he sits right outside the tub waiting for me lol.  My mom even came over the other night for dinner and for me to wash up bc I was feeling too weak to do it by myself.  

Today I go to my family doctor, and get my Tuberculosis test done.  They don’t think I have it, it’s just one of the steps to me being approved to go on Remicade and get it funded.  

A long time ago, my mom bought me a huge rug hooking kit from Value Village, but the canvas was missing, and we were having a time of it, trying to find a place that sold the canvas separately.  My dad had even been looking in the States whenever they went over!  I finally found a place online that sells it to the size you need, or basically, and I got it in the mail yesterday 🙂  So once I go down enough on the med.s to stop shaking, I will have something fun to work on 🙂  

Watching the movie Speed right now.  I loved this movie when it came out, and it’s still good!  And damn is Keanu Reeves hot! hehe.  I got woken up early when Zeus decided climbing on my neck and licking my hair was a good plan… apparently it was bc now I’m up!  

Take Care!

Ash,

No Photo Post Friday

I have not taken ANY photos this week.  The thought never entered my mind, and I have plenty of things to be taking pictures of!

Wednesday, my Social Service Worker Susan, took me to the G I.  He agreed with me, there was no way I am not having a relapse, and regardless the Imuran I’ve been on is no longer working.  I told him about my sister getting Lupus after going on Humira, and apparently that is only a 1% chance for that to happen!  My poor sis of course with all her messed up allergies and sensitivities to EVERYthing off and on most of her life, it’s terrible, but I suppose not all that surprising.  Thankfully though, even if it is common for siblings to both get crohn’s disease, it is not the same when it comes to us sharing responses to medicine, etc.  That makes me feel better about it all, and moving up a class.

So I am going to be starting Remicade.  You go to an infusion centre and spend like 6 hours getting this stuff put into you once a month.  Very boring, but more than doable.  I can get it done here in Belleville too which will be so much better than having to drive all the way to Kingston and back too!

Because it is funded by the government, bc it is so damn expensive – $25000 a year!  You have to go through the ropes and rules to prove you need this covered.  I’ve been on Imuran for 11 years off and on, so I don’t have to do that part, but they want you to prove that you can go on Prednisone and still relapse once you are weaned off of it.  If you don’t, then they would rather you get steroids every couple of years to just build yourself back up.  So I am on 50 mg of Prednisone… usually on get put on 40mg.  I stay at 50 for the first two weeks taking a 50 mg tablet, then I go down 5 mg every week until it is done… which after I drop from 50 mg, I will be taking 9 little pills, etc. down to none.  I am used to taking medication, but if you have ever had a really gross aspirin… it’s like that, but a million times worse LOL.  It tastes terrible, and ruins your taste for the time you’re on it.  On the 50 mg pill I’m not noticing it enough to be a hindrance, but when I go to taking a bunch of the little ones, prepare to hear my freak out about being so thirsty bc I cannot stand the taste of water… which is weirdly my favourite drink normally.

So because of this and me already showing crazy like coo coo symptoms and feeling junky from it, I did not do the fostering with Saffron after all.  It’s one thing to find a dog and have them stay with you, but if they’re staying with you to work on issues, I cannot be any good for that extra time right now.  I still want to do it in the future, but when that will be… who knows at this point.

I go back to the G I near the end of November, and by then I will be almost done and should be relapsing off the Prednsione (I damn well better be lol) and have had my Tuberculosis test done, which is another requirement.  Then we can get on to applying for the Remicade.  I don’t know how long it will take, and can’t remember with Amanda bc that was so long ago, but hopefully before Christmas I will have it in me.  I think they are keeping me on the Imuran too, bc he said a combination therapy of the two types, makes you 40% more of a chance to NOT have a relapse.  Raising it from 20%  that I’m at now… to 60%.  Make sense?  A lot of numbers thrown there lol.

So I got to Peko too!  Which was a LOT of fun.  I played fetch with her the entire time she was here lol.  Zeus stayed in the living room the whole time too which blew my mind, and Peko even jumped over him twice to get on the couch, and Zeus didn’t flinch once.  But he kept doing that squint one eye thing he does, when he wants the attention back to him lol.  I spoke with Peko’s org. and foster mom and she’s going to stay with us for a week to see if I can handle the ins and outs of having a dog.  I know I want to, but physical problems are making me worry if I can, so this will be good.  She likes to sleep in a crate too (left open) at night, so me and Zeus can still have our nightly cuddles before sleep.

I had my Peer Support Worker come this morning so I could get some comfort food like soup, etc. and while I was in the grocery store she left to go to the car.  I didn’t think anything of it bc she seemed fine, but when I came out to meet her, she was sicker than a dog!  I ran back in and got her water, but omg I felt so bad for her… and my immune system LOL.  I offered to get her a cold cloth, etc. at my house, but she lives near by, so was just going to go home, so I ran and thoroughly washed my hands hoping to God I don’t catch it lol.  Terrible I know, but a cold is one thing, and flu is right out AWFUL.

I went to my mom’s yesterday right after Peko went home, and I totally forgot bc I was in a rush to bring my damn laundry, and never got it done!  I was still wearing jeans when I got to her house (I never wear pants unless absolutely necessary lol) so I ran upstairs and stole a pair of pj bottoms to wear for the day.

Alright, into watching Hemlock Grove on Netflix… I don’t get it, bc my attention span is that of a two year old right now, but I still like it too lol.  Going to go watch some more.. OH And this is the last Sunday Dexter will be on *tear*  What am I going to do with myself without Michael C Hall???  Just isn’t right…

Take Care.

Ash,

Doggies and Relapses

100_0043This has been quite the Summer so far.  Normally I don’t do much during the Summer time, except lay in a ball on the couch and sweat to death.  Looking back at this Summer, I’ve not done a lot compared to a regular healthy person, but I still kicked some major ass and had a good time doing it!

We lost both my sister’s cats.  First Jasper, then Jupiter.  Even the vet said it seemed as though the stroke happened so soon after Jasper’s passing, that it was because of missing him.  Died of a broken heart.  It seems awful, that the two original boys of the family (animal wise) are now gone.  Now Zeus, who used to be one of the babies is the oldest at 11 years.  I am so thankful for my soul kitty bc he’s been with me through SO much.  He wakes me up to kisses and cuddles, and thinks I’m the greatest thing since catnip.

100_0033My oldest brother Kirk got remarried.  The fact I was even able to go to the wedding is amazing in and of itself!  Mind you I crashed and burned hard afterwards, I was so happy I got to be there to celebrate with him and Deb.  I also got some great photos of my handsome nephews and my oldest niece Jess.

Speaking of Jess, she had her first baby, making me a Great Aunt!  I am so proud of her, and know for a fact she will be an amazing mom… already is!   He is too adorable and melts my heart every time I get to see him, which isn’t nearly enough!

I had found a wonderful dog to foster, Saffron, but unfortunately that fell through.  She will make a wonderful pet for someone and am excited to still stick with the organization and get to foster soon in the future.  I go to the GI this Wednesday to find out what is going on with my Crohn’s Disease, and get any necessary tests, med. changes, etc. under way, and as soon as I know I am in the clear, I will be wanting to foster again asap!!!

100_0034My Neurologist appointment went well last Friday!  I met with Dr. Taylor in the Hotel Dieu where they are moved to, so I got lost trying to figure out how to get there! lol.  He finally got to meet my mom and she could definitely see why I like him so much, and want to keep going to Kingston to see him.  I got the all clear on the POTS front, and my vitals are still good.  He agreed with me and said the humidity of the Summer makes everyone sort of have a set back bc it’s hard on healthy people, let alone potsys.  He also said with my Crohn’s getting worse again so soon, that it might make my pots act up, but that, that’s normal and not to worry of a relapse happening.  Last time I had a hard time with my Crohn’s, I actually found my pots was better, but either way I figure it makes sense.

Amanda, Nick, Grams and I went to the PetSmart Adoptathon here in Belleville.  I have to be honest, this branch didn’t do too much for it at all.  They had no idea what I was talking about, when I heard you could buy a toy for one of the shelter pets to help out if you couldn’t adopt, but they has no problem with it either.  So I got two little Halloween squeaky toys.  A bat, and a pumpkin/witch/owl thing lol.  They had cute kittens, and only four puppies there.  Gorgeous dogs though, and I’m glad I went.

We all went down to the park near my place afterwards, and had a picnic and Nick got to play in the play area for a bit before we left.  I was having a hard time eating anything, so I didn’t get to play much, and forgot my camera!  I had a fun time though 🙂  Nice being outside!

A lot more happened, like me getting a Peer Support Worker that helps me do my errands, etc.  My Grams and aunt Kelly went to Ireland to bury part of my Gramps ashes, bc he is from there, planted my first try at veggies.  Basil, lettuce, peppers, tomatoes big and small, but for now I have to scoot bc my Grams is on her way here.  Will write more next week after my GI appointment!

Take Care!

Ash,

So I’ve Been Out

nick&meLike the title says, I’ve been out and not writing.  Laziness is the culprit.  I have things to write, but just hadn’t felt like it until now lol.

I got to go out to my friend Nicole’s last weekend.  We played around in the garden, cuddled with her pets, saw tons of photos and videos, and watched part of a movie.  It was nice, relaxing, and needed!  I just hate how my body craps out on me before I am ready!  Truly thankful for those few understanding, non judging friends!

I got my mom’s Christmas present, and it turned out perfect 🙂  Cannot wait to give it to her!  My aunt Kelly was done, but I found something fun to add to it, and it should be coming in by my mail tracking, probably tomorrow morning!

Last Friday I met for the first time with Holly, the Peer Support Worker.  She took me out to get groceries.  I am trying to split it up throughout the month so that I am not putting myself through hell to get a months worth of groceries in one shot.  Tomorrow is the second time I meet up with her.  I need to get Zeus his food at the vets, and I am thinking either the farmer’s market, which I don’t really need to do bc I have a whack load of fruits and veggies here that need to be eaten up, or to… to… what’s it called?  Damn brain fog… The Bulk Barn.  I want to look to see about getting more stuff for that big diet for my crohn’s disease.  Like Brazil nuts, and some gluetin free stuff… bread hopefully.

zoo 091It’s hard to find normal foods like that here!  I found Almond Butter, and I found a nice little crunchy snack that would go well possibly in my yoghurt and some gluetin free pasta, but not bread yet.  And some coconut milk I am going to try once this bag of milk is done.  My crohn’s has not been good as of late flip flopping back and forth what it does and doesn’t want me to eat, so this diet is probably a good thing and a good time to do it!  I go to see my GI specialist near the end of the month and will see what he thinks.

I also go to the Neuro next week.  Normally my Social Service Worker Susan takes me, but I am having my mom and Grams, so my mom can finally meet this man.  I think it’s important she meets the people who are saving my life!

So I keep going back and forth on this dog thing.  I now have become stubborn in the sense I will only get an adult pug that is house trained and good with my Zeus babes, but that will take until at least after Christmas, bc I want to put some money aside in case of any pet illnesses popping up.  I was thinking if I find the right fit, of fostering a small dog in the mean while.  Everything down to the food is paid for, and I still get all the benefits of helping an animal in need.  So I applied to a bunch of different places to see what there is to offer.

I’ve joined a lot of pet/animal related groups on Facebook recently, and one I think the world of https://www.facebook.com/groups/1413747548839900/  Which is People Against the Sale of Household Pets on Kijiji and Craigs List.  There is a petition right now, trying stop the over growing number of animals looking for homes, and trying to get some great animals forever homes.  Please click this link http://www.change.org/en-CA/petitions/kijiji-canada-stop-puppy-mills-and-prohibit-the-sale-of-household-pets  and read what it says.  If it’s something you agree with too, PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION.  We need to get the word out there!

Now I must get back to MY pet, and dump his litter for taking out to the garbage tomorrow!

Take Care!

Ash,