Calm

100_0024I’m sorry for the last post, but I was having a sick of being sick day!  I hate crabbing about my illnesses, because I see people around me all of the time who are doing way worse, but sometimes you just need to grieve it out!

100_0017My birthday by the way went very well.  Amanda gave me a beautiful painting my uncle Casey had bought my grandparents.  Not only is it my style of art, that I love, but the fact that he is now gone, makes it even more special to me.  I couldn’t believe she gave it to me.  It means everything.

100_0008We had our big Pauls Family Christmas party the weekend before.  It was nice to get to see that side of the family, since that’s usually the only time I do!  I got to meet my second great nephew Carter for the first time and maul him to death.  He is beautiful and perfect just like Jase.

100_0003This past weekend, we had another dinner at my mom’s place… the one I was freaking out about.  I got my cookies done the next day, and literally slept the rest of it.  My mom made the potatoes for me, and the day of the party, I just made the mac and cheese recipe my step mom makes.

Okay my Grams is here, so I need to bounce.  Will add photos later.

***UPDATE***

Sorry, my Grams came to visit on a whim, and had the phone company out.

The party this past weekend, ended up great!  The only bad part, was my great nephew Jase was sick, so him and Jess could’t come out, and my sister in law, Stacey was working.  Otherwise, it was great to see everyone!

Will write after Christmas!  Take care!

Ash,

Frustrating!

10846384_10154894200875594_1546532297122530215_nI hate these stupid illnesses!  I planned this entire week to work with the dumb ass things, and now bc I forgot to get margarine, I’ve screwed my weekend completely up.  Yes stupid, mean, uncaring healthy people, who don’t even try to understand… something as simple as that, can throw your whole week out of whack.

10404864_10154894230515594_3914640645235955035_nI wanted to make the macaroon cookies today (which I need the margarine for),  get the potato salad all ready for mixing together on Sunday and have my shower.  Then Sunday, the day of a Christmas party I’m making all this stuff for, all I would have to do, is make the mac and cheese bake, that is the hardest to do bc I have to do it standing over the stove, and right before it’s due to be served.

10846188_10154894238555594_8320126893563515067_nNow that I messed that up, I have to bake the cookies and prep the potato salad and shower tomorrow, and I don’t think I will be able to do all that 😦  That’s beyond sickening!  I am feeling SO terrible lately, I just can’t keep up!  People don’t get how hard it is to do the simplest things, let alone things that require heat… like the cooking over the oven for the cookies and mac and cheese, and taking a shower.  It’s humiliating and I hate that all I want to be able to do is be clean, and cook a few dishes for a family dinner 😦

1907914_10154894192735594_4202881416369885446_nAll I want to do is sleep lately.  My blood work came back clear for my hormones, but he wants me to get IV’s of iron.  I don’t think I am low in it though.  My family doctor got me to take the test again, since when I saw her, there were no results back yet, after a couple months.  If it’s not this, than what the Hell is it???  I’ve gained 40 lbs in 2 months!!!  How is that even possible???  I just want to go to sleep and wake up when the doctors figure out what it is.  My Neuro is no longer doing anything about it, so I pray to God that my family doctor will, or I’ll just be tossed aside again!

Ash,