My Head Hurts…

april25 008I am pretty sure I missed 3/4s of my morning medication and I have one Hell of a head ache for it.  I started to question as to whether I took it or not, and thought I better not just in case I had.  It’s for my depression so my emotions have been ALL OVER the map today lol.  I watched the movie Signs with Mel Gibson and I’ve seen it before, but was just in the mood to see it since it had been so long.  I damn near bawled about 50 million times watching it! LOL.

april25 017I went to the dietitian on Friday morning.  The first time I went to them years ago, I have to be honest, the lady was pretty shitty to me and not very helpful.  About 4 years ago, when I had a Crohn`s relapse and was in the hospital for almost a week, I had another one come to my home, and go through my cupboards with me.  SHE was awesome!  So I didn’t know what to expect this time around.  The woman was great!  I got lost mind you, bc I only know Kingston hospitals well.  This place is confusing as all get out!  It’s like a damn maze!  She gave me tons of options and explained well why she would cut out one thing, but then add another.  I found her very helpful with finding tips for eating for ALL of my illnesses.  She wants to see me in 6 weeks, to see how I am doing on this kind of diet.

april25 009I also went to the dentist on Thursday.  I swore I had a broken tooth or that at the very least, a filling had fallen out, but apparently not!  I got a clean bill of health teeth wise, and my hygienist did a scaling of my teeth and compared them to last year, and they have improved by 45%!!!  That makes me feel sooo good!  I do hate going there still though lol.

april25 013I have been in so much pain lately.  My right foot still looks normal, but hurts so bad and feels, when I bend my toes, like there is swelling/ inflammation.  Now my left foot is starting to hurt too.  My back is killer, my knee always is, and my wrists and fingers even hurt!  I’d blame Fibro for it, but I always know my Fibro is bad, when my elbows hurt.  Don’t ask, but that’s one of my big spots for pain, and they don’t hurt at all.  I know I am emotional from not taking my med.s properly, but this is getting so frustrating, I want to do my curl up in a ball on the carpet and cry thing I do when the pain gets so bad lol.

april25 007So my diet has been going great, except now it’s the end of the month and I have less than $2 to my name, and I have nothing but pure crap to eat in my house, and I’m even running out of that!  I hadn’t touched the Gingerale I had got for nausea, nor the bag of cookies I could have ate in a couple days.  Now I literally have a couple pieces of chicken, lettuce enough for one more meal, a box of Kraft Dinner, cookies, and a can of Scarios.  That’s it until Thursday!  I don’t even have margarine or mustard or coffee for fuck’s sake lol.  I hate being broke!  So my Crohn’s is being put through the ringer bc I can’t eat properly and it was doing so well for a while there!

april25 004It’s not even 9:30pm and I want to just get this finished, give the girls their fresh water (guinea pigs) and then go to bed.  I feel so physically and emotionally spent.

I’m in one of those, “I want my mommy with me!”  moments, but she’s too busy taking care of my sister, to be able to be here for me right now.

I was to have an appointment with the G I this Thursday about my Crohn’s, and whether I should have a scope to see the scar tissue damage, etc.  but my G I keeps changing the date!  So now I don’t know when I’ll get in to see him.  Men!  hehe.

Okay going to jet for now.  I actually have been in a lot better spirits lately, but today has just been a rough one for me all round.

Talk soon!

Ash,

PS  I woke up today feeling like someone punched me in the eye!  Seriously.. it feels like it’s bruising too! LOL.  What am I doing to myself in my sleep???

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So Since Last Time…

april11 002Since last time, I called Medigas, and got set up with a CPAP machine.  I feel like I have a giant elephant nose, and I find it weird trying to cough with all the pressure that gets in you.  So last night, I just sat there with my mouth open (I know but sometimes I need amusing here lol) and it was the weirdest cccccaaaaaa noise that came out LOL.  I have noticed more energy I guess during the day, and I haven’t felt the need to nap as much.  Weirdly enough, my restless legs haven’t been as bad either.  Zeus has also decided I am not a monster, and will actually get in bed with me, but won’t go near my face yet lol.

I got a call from the sleep clinic today, and I go in Monday morning to see the doctor about my results.

april11 003Friday, I get the blood work done to find out if I have drug induced Lupus from the Humira.  Lately, it seems as though a lot of people I know with Fibro are being affected by it, so who’s to say it’s not just that?  I can’t stand the pain in my back and feet though!  Annoying!

Then later in the month, I go to the dentist for a cleaning… not looking forward to it bc I am positive my bottom, back left tooth is broke, and I hate freezing and I just don’t want the stress and anxiety I get from going there.  Just NOT in the right head space to deal with it, but I will.

april11 004I also have to go to the dietitian I think on the 27th.  I’ve been eating well since I got the pre diabetes diagnosis.  I need to go grocery shopping though, to get more veggies and meat.  It’s fine with me so far, but today I didn’t eat lunch, and by 4pm I was shaking so bad I had to have a bowl of cereal while I waited for my dinner to cook.    Any other potsy’s have this?  Know of a good recipe site for it, or a book, etc.?

I also have the GI at the end of the month.  It’ll be determined if he wants to do another scope to see if I may need surgery.  Hopefully by then, I’ll know if what the Lupus results are, bc he’d be the one to decide what to do next.

Will update when I know more!

Ash,

New and New

easter12015 015A lot has happened since I last wrote.  I apologize ahead of time if this post makes no sense because I am running on very little sleep!

easter12015 011This past weekend was Easter.  I went to dad and Lois’ for dinner Saturday.  The only people missing were Amanda and my oldest nephew Travis.  I got to spend lots of time with my great nephews, and catch up with my family.  It was fun to run around and help them get Easter eggs too.

easter12015 009Nice side note… later in the day, I found an egg the kids had missed, but I was alone, so I just threw it in my pocket to give to one of them after and totally forgot.  Getting home yesterday, I reached into my pocket to get my keys and they, my gloves and lighter, were smeared in melted chocolate lol.

easter12015 001Sunday, we had dinner at mom and Amanda’s.  It was soo good!  I got to help mom with some of the prep work for the veggies, then had a nap with Amanda in the living room lol.

Tuesday I went to my family doctors.  I do have pre diabetes and have blood work I have to get done on a regular basis for her too.  All good stuff that can be affected by my crohn’s med.s, or pots too, so it’s good to check it out often I suppose.

nicolelily 020I brought up the fact that my vision has been off, and how and where my feet have been hurting, and she’s testing me for Lupus now.  There is a 2% chance of getting it from being on Humira, my Crohn’s Disease medication that I take by pen needle every other week.  My sister sadly was part of that rare 2%.  The fact that she had gotten it, did not raise my chances of getting it, but now my doctor is worried that I am too.  Grrrr.

nicolelily 008I got a call in from the sleep clinic to come in last night.   Hence the little to no sleep.  (To see how a sleep study is done, look for the link I have on it)  I don’t tend to snore now, but I just stop breathing altogether, so I have been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea.  Sickening.  Got home this morning, and washed the gook out of my hair, and Lilliane came by early for me.

nicolelily 003I got a nice shelf, like one my mom used to have, and set up my Matryoshka dolls on it.  I also got my quit smoking aid in the mail this morning.  Starting my quit smoking week tonight!  Wish me luck!

Ash,

PS  I also had a nice visit with Nicole and Adam and Lily.  My God my little puppy is growing into such a gorgeous dog!  Love her!!!