My Head Hurts…

april25 008I am pretty sure I missed 3/4s of my morning medication and I have one Hell of a head ache for it.  I started to question as to whether I took it or not, and thought I better not just in case I had.  It’s for my depression so my emotions have been ALL OVER the map today lol.  I watched the movie Signs with Mel Gibson and I’ve seen it before, but was just in the mood to see it since it had been so long.  I damn near bawled about 50 million times watching it! LOL.

april25 017I went to the dietitian on Friday morning.  The first time I went to them years ago, I have to be honest, the lady was pretty shitty to me and not very helpful.  About 4 years ago, when I had a Crohn`s relapse and was in the hospital for almost a week, I had another one come to my home, and go through my cupboards with me.  SHE was awesome!  So I didn’t know what to expect this time around.  The woman was great!  I got lost mind you, bc I only know Kingston hospitals well.  This place is confusing as all get out!  It’s like a damn maze!  She gave me tons of options and explained well why she would cut out one thing, but then add another.  I found her very helpful with finding tips for eating for ALL of my illnesses.  She wants to see me in 6 weeks, to see how I am doing on this kind of diet.

april25 009I also went to the dentist on Thursday.  I swore I had a broken tooth or that at the very least, a filling had fallen out, but apparently not!  I got a clean bill of health teeth wise, and my hygienist did a scaling of my teeth and compared them to last year, and they have improved by 45%!!!  That makes me feel sooo good!  I do hate going there still though lol.

april25 013I have been in so much pain lately.  My right foot still looks normal, but hurts so bad and feels, when I bend my toes, like there is swelling/ inflammation.  Now my left foot is starting to hurt too.  My back is killer, my knee always is, and my wrists and fingers even hurt!  I’d blame Fibro for it, but I always know my Fibro is bad, when my elbows hurt.  Don’t ask, but that’s one of my big spots for pain, and they don’t hurt at all.  I know I am emotional from not taking my med.s properly, but this is getting so frustrating, I want to do my curl up in a ball on the carpet and cry thing I do when the pain gets so bad lol.

april25 007So my diet has been going great, except now it’s the end of the month and I have less than $2 to my name, and I have nothing but pure crap to eat in my house, and I’m even running out of that!  I hadn’t touched the Gingerale I had got for nausea, nor the bag of cookies I could have ate in a couple days.  Now I literally have a couple pieces of chicken, lettuce enough for one more meal, a box of Kraft Dinner, cookies, and a can of Scarios.  That’s it until Thursday!  I don’t even have margarine or mustard or coffee for fuck’s sake lol.  I hate being broke!  So my Crohn’s is being put through the ringer bc I can’t eat properly and it was doing so well for a while there!

april25 004It’s not even 9:30pm and I want to just get this finished, give the girls their fresh water (guinea pigs) and then go to bed.  I feel so physically and emotionally spent.

I’m in one of those, “I want my mommy with me!”  moments, but she’s too busy taking care of my sister, to be able to be here for me right now.

I was to have an appointment with the G I this Thursday about my Crohn’s, and whether I should have a scope to see the scar tissue damage, etc.  but my G I keeps changing the date!  So now I don’t know when I’ll get in to see him.  Men!  hehe.

Okay going to jet for now.  I actually have been in a lot better spirits lately, but today has just been a rough one for me all round.

Talk soon!

Ash,

PS  I woke up today feeling like someone punched me in the eye!  Seriously.. it feels like it’s bruising too! LOL.  What am I doing to myself in my sleep???

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