Keeping Up the Paces

july13 002I keep telling myself that it’s just the weather.  I feel like I’m having a bad time health wise.  Yes, this weather for me is absolutely awful.  I have a great air conditioner I got last Summer, and I don’t know how I’d even be moving if not for having it, but I feel like my health is taking a step back.

july13 003I’m exhausted… all …the…time.  All I want to do is sleep.  The CPAP machine helps with this, or at least it did… and it doesn’t help that Zeus has been waking me up every time I try to sleep.  I normally would just ignore it, but he’s back into his knocking stuff off tables if I don’t pay attention to him, and he keeps going for things like my medicine, etc. that can and has burst open when he swats it.  I get super pissed too, and can’t sleep.  I get up… and he goes back to sleep!  WTF???  He’ll even have food in his bowl!

july13 004I notice my weakness is worse.  It kills me to do the girl’s big cage, like it used to kill me to do the fish tank.  I will never get rid of my babies, but it’s so damn hard to do, and I want to do well by them.  I have to choose between doing my dishes… or having a shower… cleaning their cages… and being able to cook myself dinner.  People make so many assumptions about people on disability.  If they only truly realized what we go through in a day.  How I personally would LOVE to feel healthy and be able to work and come home and make myself dinner, clean, etc.  It’s my dream… which feels like a crap shoot these days.

july13 005My depression has been surprisingly good considering.  Not bad, not great by any means either.  I guess I sort of feel content… which sometimes is stretching it.

Mom and I went to Giant Tiger today.  I had to have a 2 hour nap after.  Then I was too sick to make myself a proper meal.

On a good note.  This weekend, we are going out to my aunt and uncle’s for my cousin’s daughter, Dakota’s 10th birthday.  They live in the States, but she wanted her party in Canada, so we got invited out.  It will be so nice to see them all 🙂  What do you get a 10 yr old you do not know at all?  iTunes card lol.  Apparently she loves online games like Nick does, so I figure that will help get her some more.  I was looking for a pair of shorts for myself, but I could only find two I liked, and they had nothing in the line of sizes.  Must be bc of the big sale or something.  I ended up getting a $6 tank top!

july13 006Mom’s birthday is this Thursday.  I was going to cook dinner and make a cake for her, but my Gram’s is doing the dinner I guess, so I asked her to let me make the cake.  I got to get a hold of Holly to see if she can take me out to get the stuff for it.  I’ve had her gift all wrapped since I bought Gram’s gift, so that’s all done and ready.

I also got Nick’s birthday present in the mail.  All the paper crap Amazon uses in their boxes is so wasteful, but Zeus was having a riot.  I came in bc I heard him screaming, and he was laying on his side in among all the paper playing away lol.

july13 007The beginning of August, I go to the Neuro for my check up.  I LOVE him.  He has such a great way with his patients.  I know there isn’t a whole lot known to do for a person with POTS, but how can they just leave us to suffer like this?  I’m going to exhaust myself going there, for a few days after even, and all he is going to say, is to keep doing what I’m doing.  So frustrating.  I wish I could go to the big POTS clinic in the States.  At least they are doing studies and constantly trying to better the patient’s lives, instead of just leaving them the way they are after the heart rate jumps in normal range.

Okay going to go rest.

Ash,

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2 thoughts on “Keeping Up the Paces

  1. I have two cats, and their favorite time to cuddle is first thing in the morning when I ought to sit up, drink water, take POTS meds, and stay vertical. It’s tempting to blame them for keeping me prisoner with their cuddles and tricking me into sleeping in.

    I noticed this post because of the first paragraph. Last summer I had undiagnosed POTS, so I pretty much lost the summer, until august when I was given midodrin. This is my first summer with POTS medication and I assumed it would be fine. It hasn’t been fine, but fall is almost here and I’m expecting POTS to go back to being manageable. If not I’ll punch something and then take a nap.

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