Mindset

I’ve been chatting with so many different people about relationships that I was inspired to write this. I’m not going to claim to know shit about men bc they, like us women, I swear are a species all of their own LOL. This is just what I’ve noticed.

A romantic relationship is when two people come together and try to make a life work together instead of separately. No matter how much alike they are, no matter what their belief system is, these are two different unique individuals, hoping to mesh the differences together, hoping the other accepts them and loves them for exactly who they are. That’s nearly impossible lol.

We all have things we aren’t going to put up with. We all have opinions that are going to clash with someone else. And to hope that there is one person in this world who will not get annoyed or have a differing thought process as you, especially as time goes on and we grow – or not for the lazy people out there lol, is next to impossible. Hence why so many relationships, even friendships fail.

We have an idea of what the ideal person should be, without seeing the amazing qualities the person we are with already has. It’s not a fairy tale, and your partner is going to be different than you, and for a lot of you, you will grow apart from them. They are on their own path. Not yours. You go into a relationship just hoping those two paths can merge and grow together.

Women are emotional creatures. We like to take care of our partners hearts. We want romance and verbal communication to show we are cared for. Even when we know we are we need to hear it. Basically we over think things and like to be brought back down to earth by being told we are the best lol. Men are more about action. Fixing things and showing their spouse they can protect them and stay strong. Women try to break through this wall of protection to no avail and don’t get their emotional needs met.

Depending they may be the type to say they’re all about action, but never follow through. There are numerous excuses for the walls we build, but usually it’s out of laziness, fear, thinking the other just isn’t the one for them long term, or theyre being handed everything on a platter with no need to change the behavior bc theyre getting away with it.

The biggest problem I find, is lack of confidence. No one wants to be with someone who needs to be with someone else in order to be satisfied with life. They fall for whatever they can get, or think they are worth, amd then wonder why they’re unhappy.

Be happy and confident with who you are. Be proud of the things you’ve accomplished, and you will start to attract people who mirror that. Who are driven to sucede in life, who are happy, and they will bring those traits into the relationship. If they value themselves, they will value you in return.

If you hang off of them like a lost puppy… That’s exactly what you become. So be independent and have your own interests apart from your partners, but be sure to do things together too. Realize the world does not revolve around them. Your happiness is for you to make happen. Not them.

If you are hurt from something your partner said or did – open your mouth. You can have a conversation without being a raging asshole. Most times it’s from yet again lack of confidence, or just plain misunderstanding. Communication clears the air, so be suremto talk with the person and communicate your needs.

Don’t expect they can read your mind. You like flowers? Tell them you want them to get you flowers! We are all so different in the things we like, we have to yet again communicate with eachother so we know what the needs are of those we love. If you don’t speak up like an adult, dont expect them to figure it out on their own. So when you say, “I’m fine.” And you really aren’t – that’s on you for being too immature to say the truth.

Don’t break promises. Be aware of what you say you’re going to do and stick to it! Relationships are about trust so you dont want your partner to not trust what you have to say.

So trust until shown you shouldn’t, and be trustworthy. Communicate, say what you mean, and think before you speak. Stand up for yourself, but don’t say something you’ll regret. Be silly and laugh together, but have deep conversations about your passions, stop hiding who you are bc you’re scared, be confident and be yourself. If they don’t like it, then they don’t deserve you. And never hold back telling the one you love how much you care for them.

If you can’t do these things, then your relationship needs to be evaluated and so does your value in yourself. If your partner isn’t doing this, then you need to look for someone who is confident enough in themself to measure up. Plain and simple.

Ash,

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Today

The things I’ve learned, accomplished this year is great. Even more so with what I have to deal with. I became a Reiki master, a certificate in animal and crystal Reiki, as well as attuned many students. I became certified in meditation, alternative healing methods, chakra cleansing, past life regression, and many more. I’ve taught classes myself, in chakras, auras, Reiki, Norse mythology, and started doing monthly astrological tarot readings on YouTube.

I started my own business being a reader and Reiki practitioner. As well as worked at psychic shows, done house cleansings, and crossed numerous spirits over. I’ve even been lucky to assist in many missing person cases.
I’ve started painting again and sculpting. I even started my own company selling makeup online and doing video tutorials on applying makeup. This was after becoming a broadcaster on social media where I do live psychic, medium, tarot and oracle readings.

I’ve fallen in love for the first time and truly gave my heart for the first time to my best friend. I truly know this person to be a soulmate in my life, and now one of the few I consider my family. My love and respect for this person is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before, and am thankful I have had the opportunity to fully and wholey love someone who I would do anything for. I also wish for all people who truly appreciate who they are with, to have the opportunity to have a love like this.

I’ve also realised this past year, that I have given my friendship and love to people who used me selfishly. Who think I am the bad guy. That’s okay if they truly can’t see where things went wrong. I wear my emotions on my sleeve for the people I truly let in my life, and many times to my own detriment. When I have realized I am now only in someone’s life for their benefit, at their beck and call, and not respecting my needs, then I walk. I’m okay w being considered being a bitch, if it means me having only positive people who want as much for me as I do for them, without jealousy or resentment. It is a breath of fresh air. I do not hex people I don’t like, despite what they may think lol, and I honestly want the best for them, but their opinion of me, holds no meaning good or bad. When I walk away, I am done.

I’ve had so many changes and many more to come. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what’s going to happen long term from now, and that’s hard for me bc I thought I’d found what I was supposed to, only to realize it wasn’t reciprocated. So I move on towards my true intended path, just doing me the best way I know how. And soon enough I’ll find my home along the way.

Welcome to the crazy!

Ash,

Hmmm

I’ve been deep in thought the last few weeks. Maybe longer. I have all these amazing things happening for me, and yet I’m sad. I am and I am not. I’m truly appreciating my life and the amazing people in it. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am, but I get sad still every once in a while, for what seems like no apparent reason.

I’ve got clients lined up for my readings and my reiki, I have a new job as an office administrator from home, which will allow me to get bills paid off and save some money for a change without starving. That’s huge to me. My health is crap, but that’s the way it is this time of year especially. I have so much knowledge and the ability to do that at my disposal and yet here I am w tears in my eyes and I don’t know why.

Everyone has something they would change if they could, but really I’m content. I wish I could get rid of this fear blocking me from my growth spiritually bc it’s beginning to affect other areas of my life, and I don’t want that. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of. Maybe it’s purely bc it’s unknown to a big degree still, despite what I’ve experienced.

I said to a friend maybe my depression is ingrained in me like a habit, but I don’t think it is. I’m a truly silly, happy, giggly, easy going person. More so than most. I let a lot slide off my shoulders when most would lose it. So why the sadness? I also said it feels like I have all these doors opened in front of me and I don’t know which one to go through. Maybe I want to go through them all… and I plan to. Maybe I’m scared of what’s on the other side of it. Who knows.

I’ve lost a lot of people in my life this past year, whom I thought would be in my life forever. Do I regret it? I don’t believe in that. Things happen for a reason, and I don’t just mean fated. I also think that too many people in this world receive, but don’t give back, and that happens to me a lot. They take my laid back approach and end up using me up to the point where one day I just leave and don’t come back. Does it mean I love them any less? No. I’m just too sick to deal with it any more and feel I’ve been given no other choice.

I’m a social person, who needs to recharge. People constantly rely on me for things bc they know I will do it, bc anyone else would charge money, or they don’t have the resources to. I am in that position, so I want to be able to do for others, what they otherwise couldn’t do. I spend all, but maybe 2 of my waking hours doing things for other people bc I love them and I know they appreciate it. I’m tired though. I have been told time and again I need to stop this, but as it is, I have friends I haven’t talked to one on one in ages bc when I do get those 2 hours, I am just too exhausted to give any more. So I’m making it my goal, my intent, and what I will do, to spend more time on me only. The ones who matter will understand, and the ones who don’t will go, and I’m okay w that.

Ash,