I’ve been chatting with so many different people about relationships that I was inspired to write this. I’m not going to claim to know shit about men bc they, like us women, I swear are a species all of their own LOL. This is just what I’ve noticed.
A romantic relationship is when two people come together and try to make a life work together instead of separately. No matter how much alike they are, no matter what their belief system is, these are two different unique individuals, hoping to mesh the differences together, hoping the other accepts them and loves them for exactly who they are. That’s nearly impossible lol.
We all have things we aren’t going to put up with. We all have opinions that are going to clash with someone else. And to hope that there is one person in this world who will not get annoyed or have a differing thought process as you, especially as time goes on and we grow – or not for the lazy people out there lol, is next to impossible. Hence why so many relationships, even friendships fail.
We have an idea of what the ideal person should be, without seeing the amazing qualities the person we are with already has. It’s not a fairy tale, and your partner is going to be different than you, and for a lot of you, you will grow apart from them. They are on their own path. Not yours. You go into a relationship just hoping those two paths can merge and grow together.
Women are emotional creatures. We like to take care of our partners hearts. We want romance and verbal communication to show we are cared for. Even when we know we are we need to hear it. Basically we over think things and like to be brought back down to earth by being told we are the best lol. Men are more about action. Fixing things and showing their spouse they can protect them and stay strong. Women try to break through this wall of protection to no avail and don’t get their emotional needs met.
Depending they may be the type to say they’re all about action, but never follow through. There are numerous excuses for the walls we build, but usually it’s out of laziness, fear, thinking the other just isn’t the one for them long term, or theyre being handed everything on a platter with no need to change the behavior bc theyre getting away with it.
The biggest problem I find, is lack of confidence. No one wants to be with someone who needs to be with someone else in order to be satisfied with life. They fall for whatever they can get, or think they are worth, amd then wonder why they’re unhappy.
Be happy and confident with who you are. Be proud of the things you’ve accomplished, and you will start to attract people who mirror that. Who are driven to sucede in life, who are happy, and they will bring those traits into the relationship. If they value themselves, they will value you in return.
If you hang off of them like a lost puppy… That’s exactly what you become. So be independent and have your own interests apart from your partners, but be sure to do things together too. Realize the world does not revolve around them. Your happiness is for you to make happen. Not them.
If you are hurt from something your partner said or did – open your mouth. You can have a conversation without being a raging asshole. Most times it’s from yet again lack of confidence, or just plain misunderstanding. Communication clears the air, so be suremto talk with the person and communicate your needs.
Don’t expect they can read your mind. You like flowers? Tell them you want them to get you flowers! We are all so different in the things we like, we have to yet again communicate with eachother so we know what the needs are of those we love. If you don’t speak up like an adult, dont expect them to figure it out on their own. So when you say, “I’m fine.” And you really aren’t – that’s on you for being too immature to say the truth.
Don’t break promises. Be aware of what you say you’re going to do and stick to it! Relationships are about trust so you dont want your partner to not trust what you have to say.
So trust until shown you shouldn’t, and be trustworthy. Communicate, say what you mean, and think before you speak. Stand up for yourself, but don’t say something you’ll regret. Be silly and laugh together, but have deep conversations about your passions, stop hiding who you are bc you’re scared, be confident and be yourself. If they don’t like it, then they don’t deserve you. And never hold back telling the one you love how much you care for them.
If you can’t do these things, then your relationship needs to be evaluated and so does your value in yourself. If your partner isn’t doing this, then you need to look for someone who is confident enough in themself to measure up. Plain and simple.