Knitting Nutty

14900487_10155732491794815_4849447703301427843_nI am watching Batman VS Superman finally.  I like it so far!  I don’t know what’s with all the bad feedback it had.  Now a movie I don’t get, that did so well, was Suicide Squad.  I don’t know the story line going into watching it, and it wasn’t terrible, but definitely boring at times.  Too many characters to get to know in too short of a time.

I got a job!  I am working part time from home, taking Pizza Hut orders.  Weird I know, but that’s what I will be doing to bring in some extra cash for Zeus.  I start the training next weekend, and then from there I start working.  Excited because I definitely need mullah now!

14925273_10155732498159815_4638404628032438704_nZeus is now off his antibiotic and doing better!  He still gets out of breath more easily than usual, but not as much as he was when he went to the vets.  His diet is doing good, and it seems like he is already losing weight!

14956392_10155732493014815_45508834163728681_nI take him in Saturday morning, to get his glucose tested again and see where he is at.  I am sure he will need needles, but thanks to a wonderfully kind friend Lana, who sadly lost her baby cat who had diabetes, she stopped by and dropped off the blood glucose monitoring kit.  Those are crazy expensive!  So it was a huge help, as well as gave me tips on what litter to get (because OMG the amount of litter I am going through is double to triple what I was using) and getting the same needles the vet uses, for cheaper prices.  I am so thankful for her letting me borrow it for my babe ❤

14925506_10155732495384815_376663934796816219_nI also started a Diabetes Fund page online for Zeus.  Totally embarrassing to have to do, and if it was for me, I would starve before asking for help, but since it is Zeus, I am willing to beg lol.  I have had a few great friends help in anyways they can.  I’ve also had a great amount of advice and support from others who have had pets with Diabetes.  Very sweet.  Reminds me of how many beautiful, truly good people, I have in my life.  Some not close close friends with, but I am so thankful to have them in my lives, and would do anything to help them back!  Here is the link.  If you cannot donate, I would appreciate it if you could share it for me 🙂

As you can tell, I obviously won’t be able to afford Christmas this year.  So I am trying to make some usable, cool gifts for my close loved ones.  I am working on a project right now for Nick.  Hopefully he will like it.  Mind you he loves anything homemade and from the heart, but I still want it to turn out perfectly 🙂

14671093_10157647539855594_7413007142749380047_nGoing out to see my dad this weekend after taking Zeus for his check up.  It will be my step mom’s birthday, and my dad’s 65th will be soon after.  I want to get out and see them, and take photos of my dad’s rocks and minerals shop, for his facebook page. Having so much fun running it for him!

So last year on Halloween, I ran out of candy by 6:30pm!  So I was ready this year… and got barely any kids lol.  I had all my decorations out and ready, and then never actually put them up!  Oh well.

Grams dressed up for playing Bingo, and she ended up winning the best dressed costume!  So happy for her 🙂  She was hilarious, watching her try on all the different wigs.

Okay back to knitting like a crazy person to get these projects done on time.



My Love

I have been having a rough go.

I almost lost my dearest Zeus.

Out of no where every time he purred, it sounded like he was congested.  All of a sudden he was getting so exhausted doing the simplest things, that he would need to lay down.  So off to the vet he went.

I would have swore he had congestive heart failure, but nope!  My big boy had Diabetes!  And an infection in his bladder which he is getting antibiotics for.  When I heard the word Diabetes I just started crying.  He will be 15 in less than a couple of months!  I just couldn’t wrap my head around him not being here.

I literally would wake up and start crying right away.  When his brother Bizkit was put down six years ago, a piece of my heart was torn away from me.  I had aided in putting animals down at the clinic I worked at, but it’s nothing compared to when it is a pet you’ve loved yourself.  I was lucky then, because I still had Zeus.

I thought I never wanted to go through that pain I felt ever again, and it is not for a lack of love, but six years more with Zeus, and him being the only pet running around besides the girls (guinea pigs) it was a whole other heart break, that I didn’t think possible to feel.

I got a hold of someone who was able to fully explain that his glucose had to be between 3-8, and Zeus was 17.2!!!  So they got him on the diabetic food WD, and on an antibiotic for the infection, and by the next morning it was down to 16.  Not enough obviously, but enough for that short amount of time, for him to come home to me!

OBVIOUSLY I wanted nothing more than to bring my baby home, and I literally threw my silverware at the drawer when she said I could (was putting away clean dishes)  But I literally felt like a part of my depression cracked.  No other word for it.  I had felt kind of strung along a bit, not knowing what was going on exactly, with his chances for making it, etc. so I had basically been waiting for the call to come in and put him down.  My emotions had been on such a roller coaster that I literally felt like I cracked.

I am still be effected by it all.  I have dealt with a lot during the time my depression had fully reared it’s ugly head, but this was the first time I thought I was going to have a rough go coming back from this.  I took my first Lorazepam in a couple of years!  And I boy did I need it.  I felt fucked bc of it.  I still do.  Like I can’t get my head back to the proper stable way of thinking.

I had been sicker than a dog, with what I assume was the flu.  My heart rate and blood pressure were all messed up as though my beta blocker quit working.  So off the doctors I went, bc I couldn’t get my body to feel better.  So she ordered some tests, the first of which are fine.  Will see what the EKG says.

Unfortunately, my sister has lost her dear Loki (orange and white cat above)  He was only about two years old, and we still don’t know what caused it.  She woke up this morning to find him passed away on the floor.  Mom had seen him during the night too, and went over and gave him a pet too.  I feel so bad for them.  I know Amanda is heart broken with his passing.

Will write soon!


POTS In the Fall

13872867_10155437519439815_8317146367640829432_nWow I totally suck at writing!   I have actually been feeling a tad better, so I’ve been doing stuff I’ve been wanting to do like crazy.

My dad got his second hip surgery done, and thankfully he seems to be doing better than he did the last time.  We aren’t having Thanksgiving with the nieces and nephews there though, but I don’t blame them.  Going to try to have them come up at some point between then and Christmas if they can come up.  I miss them terribly.

14445846_10155590006079815_1815995785_nBeen working on knitting projects.  Got some baby soft wash cloths done, and am now working on knitted owl toys.  The first one didn’t turn out, only bc I used too big of needles, so I am redoing the big owl, and making a bunch of owlets.

I am also reading… or attempting to, The Girl On the Train.  It’s coming out as a movie, and looks like it’s going to be a good mystery, so I thought I’d read the book first.  So far so good.

14483903_10155593186374815_1515497981_n-1Really stressed about Christmas this year.  I haven’t been able to buy a present yet.  I literally pay my bills, and get the essentials, and I still don’t have enough for many groceries.  How is a person on Disability supposed to live???

Been working on making things with the stuff I have, that I can sell, but so far no bites.  Maybe I’m not posting them well?  Or they really aren’t that good?  It’s impossible to get your money back knitting bc of the hours it takes to make stuff, but using up my old wool to at least make something from it.  We shall see.

14518222_10155603405479815_533724920_nWent to the Infusion Clinic yesterday.  Feeling so pooped and exhausted, but at least that’s done until the end of November now.

Will try to write soon again.  I am hoping next time I see the Internist, which won’t be for a long time, he’d be willing to up the Florinef bc I am noticing a slight difference at least.  Upping the Midodrine would be good too, but I got the feeling he didn’t want to do that.  We shall see.

Talk soon!


For My Family

My cousin’s fiance is very very ill and has been struggling for years.  Her doctors are unable to help her anymore, so she is going for a holistic approach, that had started to help previously, but was and is now unable to afford the cost, due to being on Ontario Disability.

She has a GoFundMe set up to help with the medical costs.  I am asking anyone that can help, please do!  Any amount is helping her get to the amount needed.  If you really can’t help, please share the page, and get the word out there!

Take Care.



13664652_10155366896234815_319275869_n.jpgOmg the heat here has been bloody awful.  It’s actually raining for the first time in forever, and now I need to change the water in my a/c.

Preacher (HBO show based off my second favourite comic!)  Finished it’s first season.  Every time I’d watch it from my laptop, hooked up to my TV, even on full blast, I could barely hear it.  So now thanks to a friend, I can hear it, and doing a rewatch of the entire season.  Actually enjoying it more now than when I watched it one episode per week.

13817233_10155360391909815_1192201852_nI am now on Florinef.  I’ve known about it for years from other posty friends being put on it, but never had a doctor want to me on it.  So I started it finally thanks to my Internist that I saw last week.  No bad side effects, yet nothing at all right now, so we shall see how it goes.  I hope well, bc if it doesn’t, based off how he spoke, that will be the end of all her thinks he can do for me.

13820459_10155360391864815_1494448226_nI respect with the little research being done on POTS, that he wouldn’t have much else to offer me that way, but what about keeping a search out for the possibility of another illness?  He checked my hormones, and tested me for one illness.  I am willing to go through any kind of Hellish testing to try to find something that might be fixable, but he no longer seems to want to himself.  Back to the drawing board again I suppose.

13838313_10155366898669815_983110160_oMy next Remicade infusion, I’ll be only staying for the 2 hours.  I won’t have to stay the extra hour any more, so that’s good!  My last blood work the G I ordered… which means nothing will be done about it, said my MCH was low.  Found out that’s normally low B12, but of course my B12 wasn’t being checked for some reason, so that will just have to be an enigma for now.

My sister’s birthday is on Monday.

13819319_10155360385609815_1586281860_nI would like to get Zeus into the vet in September, for a check up, and to ask some diet questions.  He’s still having the odd time, a hard time going to the bathroom.  Want to weigh my options of what I can do to help the little man.

Got the girls a bunch of new wood chews and a big straw ball, and they were absolutely hilarious to watch.  Gotta love pets, who are truly thankful when you do something for them.  What great little dears.  On the bad front with them, they now give me hives too.  Not as bad as Reese used to, but alas I have to use eye drops, Benadryl and a cortisol cream after holding them, or cleaning their cage.

I am running on zero sleep.  My back is killing me.  I didn’t fall asleep until after 5am yesterday either.

Nothing else is new.  Just bummed from my health outcome yet AGAIN, and not been very sociable or talkative.

Take Care



12-Dancing-Princesses.jpgIt’s been SO long!  I have been really out of it lately, and just haven’t had it in me to sit down and write until now.

I got taken off Humira, and have now had two infusions of Remicade.  The first one I got with a cortisol shot and I was in so much pain that night, I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.  Then I ended up with a sun rash from the medication and ended in the ER twice bc of feeling like my breathing was labored, which ended up being due to low blood pressure, and a low heart rate.

I am doing better on it now.  I get Benadryl and refuse the cortisol, and have SPF 60 sun screen which I put on every day lol.  I am stocked up!  I got my first infusion, two weeks later then second, and I go back in a month for the third, and then after I go every eight weeks.

I tried doing this paper crafting, where you roll up paper like a straw, and then roll them into a little circle and keep attaching more to the end, which when you are done, comes out to looking like a bowl.  That is some mystic horse shit that I DO NOT get!  Mine turned into a spiral of paper and gooey glue. Lol.  I am not made for crafting.  BOO!

Got spoiled and got to see my best friend Nicole twice this month.  The first time was to do a photo shoot at her parent’s place / in the style of an art show she has tomorrow.  I also got to see all the memory places for her, like the creek, her room, where her grandparent’s farm was, etc.  That alone was awesome 🙂

I was also able to scoot out for a quick visit yesterday to wish her luck and cuddle her animals.  I love them to pieces!  I got to pet and visit a little with her littlest adopted Sophie, and Pabu who is getting so good at not being nervous, allowed me to hold him!  They were all rescued strays, so they have a hard time with people they don’t know.  Now their other cat Yuki, you would never know it, bc she loves the attention, and their dog Lily is just the greatest little cutie thanks to their hard work in training her.  They’re all my little dolls ❤

Today we celebrated my mom’s birthday.  Nick goes to his dad’s tomorrow, which is her actual birthday, so we had lunch here today, and then they were going out to a park.  We were all going to go to the park to eat, etc.  but I haven’t been doing so well, so they all came up here with sandwiches, and I made a cake for her.  We realised we didn’t have candles, so I had a long skinny one at my table, and my sis and I just smucked it right in the middle of the cake and lit it LOL.  My sis even helped me, by doing the girl’s cage.  I didn’t expect her to, with her allergies too, but I am so thankful she did!

Tomorrow we are going shopping for mom’s birthday to get her a plant, bush, whatever she wants, of her choice.  I couldn’t get it before, bc my worker who takes me out, was off work, but this way she can pick the one she wants most.

Will try to write more often.  Hope you all are doing well!